Dark Clouds

Dark Clouds
by Annie Tornabene


Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving and dark clouds didn't spoil your day. I realize that being grateful is something we have to work at especially at times of family gatherings when there is sure to be someone present that will be a thorn in our side.

You are not alone. You probably had a hectic day of preparing for a feast or preparing your heart to be in an attitude of gratitude. Either way, your nerves have been spent ... they were on the edge. If you were traveling, you know how crowded the airports, the highways, etc were. Prepare for the worst and hope for the best. Dark clouds come our way whether we want them or not.

This is something that happens throughout the year not just at Thanksgiving and Christmas. Yes we have more dark clouds coming at Christmas. When we know these events and people are going to be near us, we must make sure to focus on our attitude of gratitude. Dark clouds always approach when we least expect them, so we better prepare for them.

Preparing for dark clouds is not something we can just throw together at the last minute. It is something we need to work on for a long time...to get in the habit of having an attitude of gratitude. I know we've talked all month about having an attitude of gratitude. It is a key to understanding depression, turning those dark clouds and helping us live our best life now.

Remember time is on our side. So, take time to regularly meditate ... to be still .... to be quiet ... to be one with the Creator. In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, our minds and bodies need time to be still and quiet. It is a time for rest in the hands of the Creator. It is a time to feel the peace, the love and joy flowing around you and through you.

It is a time to realize the many blessings we have. It is a time to focus on what we do have. The media, the stores, the news will tell us all the things we don't have. It is important to realize what we do have. It is important that we, anyone reading this; even the poorest one reading this; realize that we are more blessed than 99% of the world. Take time every day to think of three things to be grateful for. How many things do we take for grant it?

At this time of the year, it is easy to focus on those who may be wealthier than ourselves. The stores, the news, the media focuses on all the we do not have. Take time to give to those less fortunate than ourselves. What can we do? Something can be done about it. Donate time at a rehab center, an orphanage, an abuse women or children's center or food bank. When I have worked at these centers or any kind of victim's center, it helped me take the focus off my problems and on to gratitude. Doing things for others less fortunate will remind you of how blessed you really are. Ask them what they are thankful for. You will be amazed and it will open your eyes and hearts to new possibilities and gratitude of what you already have.

When was the last time you told those you love, that you love them. One day you will awake and realize that all to soon that opportunity is gone forever. Write a note to them. While they are in your present, acknowledge your love and appreciation for them in your life. Give them a smile. Hold them close while you can. You will create the possibility of a better life with them now.

If we practice this attitude of gratitude, we keep the dark clouds at bay. Dark clouds will come into our life from time to time and may even keep us from having an attitude of gratitude. Remember the dark clouds will pass shortly. Look beyond the dark clouds and keep your focus for soon the dark clouds pass and a brighter day has begun. Together we make a difference in understanding depression and living our best life now. We are thankful for the thorns in our lives because they help us realize how many blessings we already have and live in abundance.

Keep Your Chin Up

Keep Your Chin Up
by Annie Tornabene

When is a boxer at his greatest risk? It may not be when you think. As a child I had to watch all the boxing matches. The only one I remember in real life was George Foreman. My Dad was a golden glove boxer in his early years and was disappointed when I went into martial arts. After seeing me perform, he said it was like boxing without the gloves. You never knew you could learn lessons about the strings of life from a boxer, did you? It's not in the fight that the boxer is at his greatest risk. That is usually when he is using extra precaution. It's in the morning when he wakes up and looks in the mirror. He or she is more prone to losing the battle when they look in the mirror...when they see themselves eye to eye. It's that space between the ears that catches them off guard. It's the place where he is less dangerous physically and more often throws caution to the wind. Wow, that's the same with you and me.

It's in the mind that he wins or loses the fight. Nine times out of ten, the fight is won when he looks in the mirror with his chin up and feels he can win. He has to remind himself, "Keep your chin up!" His manager has to remind him, "Keep your chin up." Looking down, he is at risk of being hit. Looking eye to eye with your chin up, he's prepared and ready to fight. He can see every movement...every flinch of his opponent.

It's the same with us. We have to prepare ourselves every day. We have to keep your chin up. We have to smile at adversity. Together we can make a difference in understanding depression. It's not how far you've come; it's just that you get back up! Hold your head up high, keep your chin up. You can do it!

When things are going pretty good, it's easy to get distracted from keeping your chin up. You forget that you need to keep your chin up and are vulnerable to getting hit. You know what I'm talking about. Keep your guard up. It's easy to slide right down into the depth of depression when you least expect the darkness to set in...when you have a sudden blow. When you've had a bad day, keep your chin up. Who knows with another blow you just may have a knock out and you win!

As my Grandmaster says, do it in an attitude of gratitude. OK, he said to say "Beat you to a bloody pulp cheerfully." It says the same thing. Keep your chin up. Together we can make a difference in learning to keep our chin up and healing our mind.

Looks Like We Made It

The storm has passed and once again, we find we made it. My nephew was disappointed that the storm wasn't any worse. After all the preparing, the storm wasn't as bad as we had anticipated. Just like our own personal storms of life; it wasn't so bad.

During the storm, I saw squirrels running in the trees and flying through the air trying to find safety. I saw these tiny little animals grab a branch and swing their bodies to the next branch. It was amazing. These little animals were really strong. You see, the greatest strength lies not in that which is big and mighty but rather in that which has the ability to flex and bend.

The mighty oak is not as strong as is the willow. When any adversarial force presses against us, the key to survival and harmony is flexibility or to resist resisting. Watch the willow in the wind. It will sway back and forth with the force of the wind, not against it. This does not mean that you just give up. It means in order to survive and thrive, you learn to bend with the strings of life not break. Check the trunk of the willow as the wind blows hard on it.... it is firmly planted in the ground. So too, can you be deeply rooted and planted firmly, yet allow yourself to flex and bend and flow with the forces and energies that come into your world. If you try to go in a certain direction with anything, and something just seems to be resisting, just flow with it and you will find another way.

Want to heal the world? Realize world peace? End poverty? Start being flexible with your life, in your world. Together we can make a difference in understanding depression, one person at a time. When we as human beings learn to share space and time with one another, wars will end and so will hunger and poverty. The problems in the world today are all the result of a lack of flexibility. Flexibility is selfless; it gives and takes a little. Stubbornness is selfish and ignorant. Sometimes we find that we can get more accomplished with learning to give a little. By being flexible, you will learn more and be happier. The more flexible you get, the stronger you will be, and the more in control of your life you will be. Who knows, maybe one day you will find that you are flying through the storms of life with the greatest of ease. And maybe one day, humanity will find itself harmonizing on one planet.

Attitude of Gratitude Again

The older I get, the more I realize that life is a journey where we need to be in an attitude of gratitude to make the most of our life. If we are in an attitude of gratitude, we experience the best possibilities life has to offer us.

If we are in troubled waters or a storm of life, think can I do something about it? Is there a better way? What can be changed? Define what that means to you. Each of us have a different view point so each of us has our own goal. What I can do to change may be different than what you can do to change? Both courses will get us to our destination because it's the goal that we choose for our life.

Instead of asking "why?" ask "what?" Everyone has storms in our lives. Everyone suffers depression at some point in their life. It's a matter of how long you choose to be depressed that makes the difference. Instead of complaining why me. Start thinking what lessons do I need to learn in this circumstance. It's the little things in life that defeat us. That is why we must conquer it daily. Bling it on!

Do not let the chains of depression get you down. Your obstacles can be your greatest opportunities. Your setbacks can be your stepping stones. Let it be like a drop of water that ripples through the water to changes the course in our lives. Let it open a path for you. Remember there is a silver lining behind every dark cloud. The pulling on the chains can be the release you needed to free yourself from depression.

When you have a bad day, ask yourself what will it matter a hundred years from now? I know sometimes it feels that the problem we are faced with is the worst possible fear and it will change everything. 99% of the time, it's just our panic attacks kicking in. When all is said and done it won't matter. Or tomorrow things will look brighter. I have found that waiting a day, I can see clearer and make a better decision. What difference does it make?

Lessons Learned From Johnny Cash

We've been jamming tonight and listening to JC - no other than the late great Johnny Cash. Inspiration comes from strange places. Here's what I've learned about depression.

1) Understand Your Man ...er, you are the man! Huh hum! In understanding depression, keep the spirit of believing in yourself. You can do it! The power of believing is amazing. You are right whether you believe you can or whether you believe you can't. So choose to believe you can.

2) A Boy Named Sue - Life isn't always easy. You gotta be prepared. Don't let anyone steal your dream from you or steal your thunder. Many will try to sway you away from your dream or target, you have to stand your ground. Having goals and a plan for your life, ensures that you will make it. Like the song says, "This world is rough, and if you're gonna make it, you've gotta be tough." Your life requires you to get tough about you and your life! Not in a forceful way but with gentle strength. My Tae Kwon Do Grandmaster said, "Train tough!" It's the same with life. Who wins out if you don't?

3) The Man In Black could be called Branding 101 JC - Johnny Cash wore all black because it was his trademark. He had a reason for dressing in black. When you saw him in black, you knew or quickly knew what it was. Johnny Cash didn't waddle in depression, he found a way to honor it. Life can be depressing but depression does not have to get you down. Make the most of your life. Everyone gets depressed sometime, just remember one step at a time.

4) The Legend of John Henry's Hammer - John Henry's Daddy told him to: "Learn to a turn a jack, learn to lay a track, learn to pick and shovel too." Same with your life. We have to pick and choose what we think about to empower our lives. Computers and the Internet are great, but it can't take the place of the human touch. Remember there is a real person on the other end of the computer connection. We need human interaction. The movie "Wall-e" makes a point of how we need the human touch. See how Walle and Eve interact. Learn to use technology to increase your interaction and know that it needs a human touch. Here is a summary on YouTube.


5) One Piece at a Time - Stealing one piece at a time from the assembly line to build a Cadillac without costing him a dime didn't turn exactly how it should look. Remember there are people out there that try to steal one piece of your joy and happiness at a time. Don't let them rob you of you joy and happiness. It's not worth it! You take control of your life and you will find that you have the real thing. They can never own you unless you allow them. Take one step at a time.

6) In The Jailhouse Now - Some days it feels like we're in the jailhouse now, but don't be held a prisoner by depression. Depression can hold you and your loved ones hostage. Learn to take baby steps, one step at a time in learning to Walk The Line. Don't let it hold you back, use your understanding depression to conquer depression. Are you a victim or victor?

7) Ring of Fire - Is just one of those storms of life. When you find yourself in a ring of fire, let it burn, burn, burn your passion for life. Let your ring of fire, ignite a spark of passion to come out of the ashes with your light from within burning bright; you will find a sandcastle was built out of the storm. What lessons did you learn?

8) A Bridge Over Troubled Waters - When you find you're in the storm water, find a bridge to cross over to the other side. There is always a bridge to safety. No matter how stormy the waters, there is a better way. Just find that connection and stay connected.

9) The Beast In Me - The beast in me has had to learn to live with pain and anger. We must learn to control our anxiety and anger which helps reduce our pain. Doing daily meditation and music are to the soul like a bandaid is to a cut or as sleep is to rest. They help control the beast in me. Can you feel the music?

10) Walk The Line - Doing our daily routine, we are able to take baby steps toward learning to walk the line toward peace, tranquility, joy and happiness. It's the Texas two step in making progress to understanding depression.

What kind of music are you creating with your life? Hope it tops the charts!

Be Still And Accept The Quiet

Happiness is not a matter of events, it depends upon the tides of the mind. - Alice Meynell

Some people think that waiting is a waste of time. It's a total write-off if you have times of no activity, they feel. I know when I was young, my Mother said, "Idol hands are the devil's workshop." Did you hear that too? What I have learned, is that busying myself can be accepting the quietness. Quieting my mind so it can heal. I feel that quietness is the renewing of me that is needed or the quiet before the storm which enables me to strengthen and be prepared for what lies ahead. Learn to take time to quiet your mind for mind healing.

Whenever I find myself in the mist of peace and tranquility, which seems to be rare. I am thankful. Showing gratitude of small things comes back when I need it the most. There is a lesson to be learned up ahead. Are you willing to learn? What is it that must be learned?

We don't always have the answers. We learn that sometimes acting too fast is the wrong answer and can be worse than no answer. We learn to dance, sometimes following, sometimes leading but always in time with the music. When we wait for the right cue, it becomes beautiful. One, two, wait. One, two, wait. See the beauty of the dance. A storm can blow our way and because we listen and are patient, our quiet time has prepared us to build a sandcastle in the mist of the storm. We are surprised by the ease and grace which we emerge.

In the mist of the hustle and bustle of everyday life, you'll be glad that you opening accepted understanding, peace and tranquility. That the mind healing was begun in quietness and prepared for the storm. Be still and feel your Spirit. Drink in the renewing of your Spirit.

Have a good day! Empower yourself today!

Take A Stand

Most of us have been taught to avoid bullies at all cost. The hardest lesson to learn is when you have to stand up to them. From time to time we have all experienced first hand knowledge of dealing with a bully. Sometimes you have to stand up to them in order to maintain your life or your principles. You can't do it from brute force. At least some of us are, how should I say it, a little more delicate than most people. Sometimes I feel that those suffering from depression seem to attract more bullies or they think they can attack someone weaker. I have no proof of that, just a feeling. When confronting a bully, you need to come from an inner strength.

Let me tell you about two occasions that show this. On one occasion a female bully was upset with me. She came over and slapped me and started screaming. I remained calm and quiet with my head held high and smiling. This of course angered her more. I knew she weighed considerably more than I did and she was a lot bigger than I was. I was only 4'10 1/2" and weighed 90 lbs. She was almost six foot and weighed close to 200 lbs. Some of my friends kept her from hitting me but could not control her verbal attack. I drew on my inner strength knowing that I had done nothing to provoke this type of behavior. So I remained calm and smiled. She stormed off.

Later that day when she had had time to calm down, she returned to me in a calm manner and said, "I'm sorry." Then asked, "How could you stand their smiling at me with me saying all those things to you?' We were then able to talk peacefully and resolve the misunderstanding that we had that had started the whole thing. If you can keep your head while others are losing theirs, you can bring the other person to the point where you can find a solution in a calm manner.

On the other occasion, it was at Christmas time and I was shopping with about $400-500 cash in my purse. I had been taking karate for about six weeks. My Grandmaster had taught us that 90% of the time you can defend yourself from attacks with demonstrating confidence in your abilities to fight with martial arts.

Back to the story, one of the sales ladies in a store at the mall told me that she noticed a man following me and wanted to know if he was with me. It wasn't and she told me to be careful that there had been several attacks on customers during the Christmas shopping time. So I decided to call it a day and made my way to my car. When I was about a car away from it, I felt a man's hand fall firmly on my shoulder. I felt courage rise up inside me.

I quickly turned, dropped my purse, yelled and prepared to fight for all that I was worth with the martial art training that I had. The 6'4 guy that looked to be about 280-300 lbs. turned faster than I did and ran. I smiled with my head held high. My inner strength and confidence won out over brute strength and he wasn't going to stick around to find out how much I knew. My Grandmaster loves telling the story to all new students. It gives them inspiration.

In our world, unfortunately is laced with lies, cries, neighs, rites and crimes. Learning to take a stand is sometimes hard. No one said life would be easy, but learning to take a stand is worth it.

Are You Prepared?

Were you ever a boyscout or girl scout? What kind of general would send his soldiers into battle with no weapons, no strategy and no information about the enemy operations? He would either be cruel or stupid. Our motto is "Be Prepared."

Your Creator is your Commander in Chief and wants you to be prepared. Life on planet Earth is quite literally a daily battle. Depression attacks daily. It is a battle between good and evil, right and wrong, truth and lies. You will need to arm yourself to stand against the enemy.

Read and listen to positive possibilities and stories. Listen to and seek the truth. Live right. Turn negative thoughts into positive thoughts and actions. One step at a time. Meditate on happiness, peace and truth. Empower yourself with joy, inspiration and laughter. Be prepared for daily battles of anger, anxiety, panic attacks, depression and defeat. Never give up! Never, never, never give up!