What Then?

What Then?
by Annie Tornabene



When the storms in life hit us, we often ask ourselves, "What then?" Do you remember the last time you said, "What then?" or maybe you said, "Now what?"

We are in between circumstances. We've been hit by an obstacle on our course in the strings of life. We've been knocked off course. We often find ourselves just sitting there ... waiting ... looking perplexed and asking, "What then?" If we keep sitting there, nothing is going to happen. What then? We will continue to let our flame from within die.

Or maybe we get hit by another storm along the strings of life. That storm blows us further off course. What then? Pretty soon we've been thrown off course so many times that the spark from within is almost dead. If we keep sitting there waiting for someone to rescue us, our flame will go out! If we ask, "What then? It's time to get up and do something about it.

There are three (3) kinds of people in the world:
Those that MAKE Things Happen...They know what they want and take life by the horns to do whatever it takes to make things happen.
Those that WATCH Things Happen...Those who sit on the side lines wanting a better life, whose lives are just in need of a little help or adjustment because they've hit a bump or two that has knocked them off course temporarily; and
Those that SAY "What Happened?... Those who don't have a clue as what is going on. They allow circumstances to shape their lives.

Which type are you? Which type do you want to be? You can do it. You can do something about it. What then?

Together we can make a difference in understanding depression and learning what to do when the storms of life knock us off course and "What then?" is asked.

Keep Your Chin Up

Keep Your Chin Up
by Annie Tornabene

When is a boxer at his greatest risk? It may not be when you think. As a child I had to watch all the boxing matches. The only one I remember in real life was George Foreman. My Dad was a golden glove boxer in his early years and was disappointed when I went into martial arts. After seeing me perform, he said it was like boxing without the gloves. You never knew you could learn lessons about the strings of life from a boxer, did you? It's not in the fight that the boxer is at his greatest risk. That is usually when he is using extra precaution. It's in the morning when he wakes up and looks in the mirror. He or she is more prone to losing the battle when they look in the mirror...when they see themselves eye to eye. It's that space between the ears that catches them off guard. It's the place where he is less dangerous physically and more often throws caution to the wind. Wow, that's the same with you and me.

It's in the mind that he wins or loses the fight. Nine times out of ten, the fight is won when he looks in the mirror with his chin up and feels he can win. He has to remind himself, "Keep your chin up!" His manager has to remind him, "Keep your chin up." Looking down, he is at risk of being hit. Looking eye to eye with your chin up, he's prepared and ready to fight. He can see every movement...every flinch of his opponent.

It's the same with us. We have to prepare ourselves every day. We have to keep your chin up. We have to smile at adversity. Together we can make a difference in understanding depression. It's not how far you've come; it's just that you get back up! Hold your head up high, keep your chin up. You can do it!

When things are going pretty good, it's easy to get distracted from keeping your chin up. You forget that you need to keep your chin up and are vulnerable to getting hit. You know what I'm talking about. Keep your guard up. It's easy to slide right down into the depth of depression when you least expect the darkness to set in...when you have a sudden blow. When you've had a bad day, keep your chin up. Who knows with another blow you just may have a knock out and you win!

As my Grandmaster says, do it in an attitude of gratitude. OK, he said to say "Beat you to a bloody pulp cheerfully." It says the same thing. Keep your chin up. Together we can make a difference in learning to keep our chin up and healing our mind.

In The Mist Of The Storm

Hello there, happy Tuesday to you all. I know it’s not the best day of the week - heck, I’d say it’s probably the worst, next to Monday - but what can you do other than try and enjoy it? My sentiments exactly. Anyhoo, moving on…

We're awaiting tropical storm or hurricane Edouard to hit the shores of Texas this morning. Life for us is running in a chaotic pace with much anxiety of the approaching storm. Even though I have weathered many storms during my life, each one that approaches the Texas Gulf Coast is waited with baited breath. People waiting in line seem to think it is taking forever. When a storm is not approaching they can stand in the same line and it doesn't seem as long. Everyone wants instant gratification.

My nephew has never been through a storm and is asking 20 questions about everything. So I've had to sit him down and show him how we get prepared. I realized it is much like the storms of life that come our way.

First we have to take priority of our basic needs. We make a list of what we have and what we need to do. Love is the most basic need in all of us. We can lose everything but as long as we love ourselves and each other, we will survive.

Then we must each find our light. In the mist of a storm, often times we find that we are sitting alone in the dark. We will stumble and fall without a light. Do you know where your light is? With a flick of the button or strike of the match our light is ignited. It provides a guide for us to find our way in the dark. You never know the beauty of a stain glassed window until the darkness falls and the light from within shines through. Is your light burning brightly?

Stay calm when chaos is all around. Staying calm in the mist of the storm is opposite of what everybody else is doing. It is choosing to stay focused, to keep your eye on the center of the strings of life's storm. Be still. Meditate. Think on good thoughts. Hold those happy moments. Take time to find your center. Take time to get control of your mind and stay focused. You will find peace and tranquility will sit quietly with you and give you comfort.

Our first aid kit needs to be near. In the mist of the storm it is common to get hurt. When we get hurt, recovery requires that we take care of the injured party - whether it is ourselves or someone we love. Just as we need a physical first aid kit, we need a mental health first aid kit. It needs to be complete with things in it to help us recover. It helps us get back on the track to healthy mental living. Do you know what's in your mental health first aid kit? Do you have one? If you don't have one, ask me.

Sometimes we get stuck in a rut. We need extra help when this happens. What invades our inner thoughts and become familiar with the way we operate on a daily bases? Whether it's being abused in a relationship, dying around food in one way or another, filling our bodies with drugs, shutting down all feelings, surrendering to violent rage, or isolating or hiding. These behaviors become our pimps, so to speak, and we jump when they beckon. What helps you get unstuck from these behaviors? Do you need someone to help pull you out?

There is a part that no one but you can do. Get up. The storm has hit. Now what? What are you going to do about it?It's not what has happened to you, it's how you react to what has happened. A few years ago when Hurricane Rita came to town, I wrote a song entitled, Get On Up. It means just that, when the storm hits, it doesn't matter how many times you've been knocked down, you have to get on up! It's the getting on up that renews our spirit and causes the passion in our life to flame again. So, just get on up! When you get on up, you find that you are not alone and there are others cheering you on. It's taking those first baby steps that are the most difficult. Taking those first baby steps makes all the difference.

Once you start taking those baby steps, you keep on keeping on! It's the trick that makes the difference. Take one day at a time. One moment at a time and you will make it. Together we can make a difference in understanding depression. Some days I may need you to walk with me. Some days you may need me to walk with you. Together we can do it! You want to keep walking and smiling until one day you notice, "Hey, we're out of the storm!" Life will be brighter then. Life will be happier then.

May peace and tranquility be with you today as we get ready for the storm!

Attitude of Gratitude Again

The older I get, the more I realize that life is a journey where we need to be in an attitude of gratitude to make the most of our life. If we are in an attitude of gratitude, we experience the best possibilities life has to offer us.

If we are in troubled waters or a storm of life, think can I do something about it? Is there a better way? What can be changed? Define what that means to you. Each of us have a different view point so each of us has our own goal. What I can do to change may be different than what you can do to change? Both courses will get us to our destination because it's the goal that we choose for our life.

Instead of asking "why?" ask "what?" Everyone has storms in our lives. Everyone suffers depression at some point in their life. It's a matter of how long you choose to be depressed that makes the difference. Instead of complaining why me. Start thinking what lessons do I need to learn in this circumstance. It's the little things in life that defeat us. That is why we must conquer it daily. Bling it on!

Do not let the chains of depression get you down. Your obstacles can be your greatest opportunities. Your setbacks can be your stepping stones. Let it be like a drop of water that ripples through the water to changes the course in our lives. Let it open a path for you. Remember there is a silver lining behind every dark cloud. The pulling on the chains can be the release you needed to free yourself from depression.

When you have a bad day, ask yourself what will it matter a hundred years from now? I know sometimes it feels that the problem we are faced with is the worst possible fear and it will change everything. 99% of the time, it's just our panic attacks kicking in. When all is said and done it won't matter. Or tomorrow things will look brighter. I have found that waiting a day, I can see clearer and make a better decision. What difference does it make?

The Power Of One

Dreams are illustrations from the book your soul is writing about you. ~ Marsha Norman

The power of one is a tremendous force. It doesn't seem like much by itself. In a dark room, try lighting one candle and see how much light appears. Add another candle one by one and see how bright the room becomes. The same with water. One drop doesn't look like much, but keep dropping water until you have an ocean. Just one drop of water can cause a ripple effect that courses across the terrain of water. Just as our words positive or negative can make such an impact on the people around us. Our thoughts and actions that we have can plow a course through the universal consciousness. Wow what power we have when we control our thoughts and words and speak with wisdom, love and clarity for human kind. Together we can make a difference in changing the course of depression.

Just one though, then add another thought. Like a magnet, more positive thoughts are added. Others do the same thing and together we change the universe with our thoughts. That is power.

Learn to control your thoughts. We can begin to control our thoughts in meditation. This is your way of finding peace, reducing stress, and finding your tranquility. You may find that meditation helps you keep focus and dedicated. Lighting a candle reminds us of life. I use a purple lotus tea light holder and ask for quietness.

Meditation is my way of staying organized, focused and in control. Be still and know the power of one. Sometimes I need just a two minute meditation time, sometimes I need more to keep my thoughts and body in control. How do you feel about harnessing the power of one?

Endless Mind Healing

You probably started your negative or positive thinking when you were a child. Usually, this habit can affect us in many ways, influencing the experience of stress, fear and anxiety to our lives. However, sometimes things happen to change our thinking. If you've gotten into stinking thinking, you may want to change it! Here are some ways you can stop yourself from using stinking thinking and use your mind to boost your productivity and endless mind healing and relieve stress and anxiety.

The first step toward change is to become more aware of the problem. You probably don't realize how often you have stinking thinking in your head, or how it affects you.

Writing in a journal, helps you notice when you summarize what has happened at the end of the day. Over several days, you will notice if your thoughts are usually stinking thinking.

As you notice yourself saying something negative in your mind, you can turn your thoughts around by telling yourself "Stop". Saying this aloud will be empowering, and cause you to be aware of stinking thinking and if certain people are around that would influence your stinking thinking. Replace it with something better. Once you're aware, you will be able to change it. There is a better way!

Another way to stop stinking thinking is to walk around with a rubber band around your wrist; as you notice stinking thinking, pull the band away from your skin and let it pop. It'll hurt a little, and serve as a reminder of your stinking thinking!

Think of a way to say or think in a better way. When you hear yourself with stinking thinking, find a way to say the same thing in a more positive way. Sometimes I have found myself with stinking thinking when I have certain people around and I have to force myself back into positive thinking. Does that sound familiar? It's just like going for a walk except in your mind.

Positive thinking brings endless mind healing. Are you assuming something is a stinking event when it isn't, necessarily? (IE, having your plans cancelled at the last minute is a bummer, but think of it in a positive way that you can make the most of your newly-freed schedule.) The next time you find yourself stressing-out or having a panic attack, stop and rethink. You might surprise yourself. Tell yourself "I can handle this!" Ask yourself what is it your really want to do? Open your mind to endless possibilities. Now, what can I do? Soon abundance will flow.

The Art of Forgiveness

Some years ago during a visit to Yellowstone Park with my Pomeranians, I observed that the only animal that the grizzly bear would share his food with was a skunk.

It wasn't that the grizzly wanted to share his food but rather that he chose to. With his powerful paw he could have crushed the skunk with one swing. However the bear knew the high cost to getting even. Clever bear! Undoubtedly he learned the hard way.

Strange that we humans often aren't as smart as the the average bear. We carry grudges for years, sometimes repressing them from conscious memory; not knowing why we feel resentment, and end up hurting ourselves more than the ones that caused the pain. We fail to see how damaging an unforgiveness is. What happens in those times when you get the feeling it’s time to move on? What happens when you continually come up against roadblocks that you can’t seem to overcome? What happens when all your unrewarded efforts just seem to depress you?

Doctors and counselors alike attest to the damage done by failing to forgive. Some medical doctors estimate that the majority of illnesses they treat are related to emotional problems such as resentment which is a lack of forgiveness. One doctor wrote in his book, "None of These Diseases", that a forgiving spirit could save us from ulcerated colitis, toxic goiters, high blood pressure, and scores of other diseases including ulcers, asthma, arthritis, neurodermatitis, and heart ailments. All because of resentment. Counselors and psychiatrists see the roots of bitterness reflected in depression, anxiety, fear, anger, suicides worry, feelings of sabotage, and dysfunctional and broken relationships.

During med school, I read one report of an astonished patient who was told by his doctor: "If you don't cut out your resentments, I may have to cut out a part of your intestinal tract."

Fortunately, the man took the doctor's advice. He had been nursing a bitter grudge against a former business partner. He went to see this man, resolved their differences, and forgave him. When he returned to the doctor, his physical condition had cleared up. I've also seen many that could not learn to forgive. How many years did they live imprisoned by the past? How many died in that torment?

Not to forgive is to be imprisoned by the past.

Many times you will hear that only those who are persistent in life, love and career win the prizes. There is that famous quote from Calvin Coolidge hanging over our heads that ‘persistence and determination alone are omnipotent’. Over and over we are told that if we quit or change course midway through an endeavor, then we are weak or not made of the right mettle. But is this necessarily always true?

I’d like to share some simple ideas on how to decide when it is wise to walk away and change your course. These ideas might help you in your career, business, and relationships - life.

History is full of people, who quit one path, only to succeed greatly at something else. Ross Perot quit IBM to eventually become a self-made billionaire, Robbie Williams quit his boy-band tenure to become the highest paid solo pop artist of his generation; Diana, Princess of Wales ‘quit’ the Royal family, only to become more famous and respected for her humanitarian work. I could tell you numerous others that you wouldn't recognize their names like my Dad who change his course that lead to a better future.

Sometimes you reach a crossroads on a certain path in your life and it is time to reexamine to continue in the same way or to change directions. Sometimes the changes can be slight, sometimes they can be drastic. Sometime you can feel guilty, or grief at the possibility of walking away from something that has been important to you. Sometimes friends and family cause you grief over the changes. Only you can decide what those changes need to be.

Here are some simple guidelines that can help you make the right choice:

1) Ask yourself why you started what you’re doing? Think back to the beginning point of your current situation. If it’s a relationship, what drew you into it in the first place? Is that still important to you? If it’s a career or project or business, what made you decide to get involved? Get these answers clear first so you can see your starting point and how far you have come.

2) Discover if you have any challenge or interest left. Is there anything you feel is incomplete or unfinished in your current position? Anything you want to accomplish, learn, do or say to someone? If so, do it NOW so that you can move on without regret or need to back-peddle. This will free you to focus on your new future.

3) As you probably know, you are not alone. Others are in or have been in the same boat as you are in now. Look at those people who are a few years ahead in the same position and ask yourself whether you want to be where they are. This is a great eye opener. Look at your current situation and find someone a few years ahead of you who elected to stay in the same position you are in now. Consider whether you would like to be in a similar situation in a few years. If the answer is no, it’s probably time to move on.

4) Don't feel guilty. Often when we are familiar with something or someone for a long time, we simply feel a sense of guilt that holds us back. This can happen in relationships, careers, sports, business, etc.

A key to confidence in your life is to be certain in your mind that is totally okay to change your mind and stop banging your head against a wall that you no longer enjoy. Have courage that your life is yours first and you will find people around you will respect your decisions more than when you wishy washy. People around you, when you act wishy washy, think they are trying to help you by bring up all the possibilities and reasons you should stay the course.

5) Once you've made your decision, move quickly in your new life. Make sure your new focus holds your interest and gives you a sense of challenge, as this helps to emotionally lay the old activities to rest.

6) Make a class act decision. Changing course is rarely a pleasant experience. No one said life would be easy, just know that your decision is worth it. Often an unpleasant situation precedes the act of quitting. There can be emotions that are expressed, or things left undone in the process of walking away.

Wherever possible, move on without burning bridges by offending people. Doing this will save you much regret later on, and may just come in handy down the track, as you never know when people from the past will offer you a new opportunity in the future.

If you don't forgive the right way, resentment will poke its ugly head out at the most unexpected times similar to a couple gets into an argument and start dragging up events from the past. True forgiveness needs to be with our heart and soul. Obviously those things haven't been forgiven. Forgiveness may not forget the past but it can let bygones be bygones. It doesn't have to affect our present or our future.

Forgiveness can be very difficult if we have been hurt deeply but how do we forgive someone when that person doesn't even know or feel any wrong doing?

When a person recognizes his wrongdoing, that certainly makes forgiveness easier.

Sometimes he doesn't, which is usually the case. Forgiveness becomes a choice. We can choose to forgive or not to forgive. The choice is your? No one can make you forgive. You're the one that has to know it is right for you.

We need to realize is that forgiveness is essential perhaps more for our hurts and feelings because of resentment than it is for the one who has wronged us. Lack of forgiveness is caused by a mixture of hurt and anger. Therefore, to truly forgive, one needs to face and deal with their own hurt and anger. Even forgiveness of self. Remember we are victors not victims.

Therefore to resolve that resentment, we need to be totally honest and admit exactly how we feel. We need to get these feelings off our chest - not by lashing out and hurting the other person, but in love, visualizing or by writing out our feelings until they are completely dissipated. To forgive is not to ignore justice. Pope John Paul forgave his would-be-assassin, but the man stayed in prison, and rightly so. And where we want others to forgive us, we will want to do everything in our power to make a just restitution.

The important thing is that we respond to forgiveness by acknowledging wrongdoing and accepting free pardon. Let us freely forgive one another as we forgive ourselves.

Forgiveness frees and heals the forgiver. The mind healing has begun. Have you been freed?

Bad Day? Go For A Walk And Turn Yourself Around

Have a bad day? So you go for a walk and turn yourself around. Sound simple doesn't it. Anyone suffering from depression knows that there are days that are bad. Sometimes taking a walk in solitude allows the subconscious mind to revitalize itself. Walking is one of the best forms of exercise there is. All nerves in the body pass through the neck area. So when you get up, stretch and walk you are exercising all your nerves. Thereby release strain that may be on nerves therefore causing part of your depression. It allows you to change your course and go in a different direction which allows freedom of flow in the body. The brain can function more efficiently and therefore the rest of the body can be more effective.

If you were traveling on a trip and took a wrong turn, would it not be in your best interest to turn yourself around. Until you turn around and change direction, you won't be able too reach your destination. It's the same with our bodies.

The nerves are the roadway or highway that passes messages from the brain to the rest of our body. If there is a road block along the way, everything gets blocked and backed up. It doesn't take long before the body starts sending the brain signals that something is wrong. It doesn't know what it is so depression sets in. Therefore when you go for a walk, it starts a chain reaction of changing direction and unblocking the blocker. Doesn't that make sense?

The important thing is that you turn yourself around so you can enjoy the sweetness of solitude, tranquility, peace and joy. Together we can make a difference in understanding depression.

Having drunk the sweetness of solitude and also the sweetness of tranquility, one becomes free from fear and wrongdoing while drinking the sweetness of the joy of truth.-Sutta Nipata

Take A Stand

Most of us have been taught to avoid bullies at all cost. The hardest lesson to learn is when you have to stand up to them. From time to time we have all experienced first hand knowledge of dealing with a bully. Sometimes you have to stand up to them in order to maintain your life or your principles. You can't do it from brute force. At least some of us are, how should I say it, a little more delicate than most people. Sometimes I feel that those suffering from depression seem to attract more bullies or they think they can attack someone weaker. I have no proof of that, just a feeling. When confronting a bully, you need to come from an inner strength.

Let me tell you about two occasions that show this. On one occasion a female bully was upset with me. She came over and slapped me and started screaming. I remained calm and quiet with my head held high and smiling. This of course angered her more. I knew she weighed considerably more than I did and she was a lot bigger than I was. I was only 4'10 1/2" and weighed 90 lbs. She was almost six foot and weighed close to 200 lbs. Some of my friends kept her from hitting me but could not control her verbal attack. I drew on my inner strength knowing that I had done nothing to provoke this type of behavior. So I remained calm and smiled. She stormed off.

Later that day when she had had time to calm down, she returned to me in a calm manner and said, "I'm sorry." Then asked, "How could you stand their smiling at me with me saying all those things to you?' We were then able to talk peacefully and resolve the misunderstanding that we had that had started the whole thing. If you can keep your head while others are losing theirs, you can bring the other person to the point where you can find a solution in a calm manner.

On the other occasion, it was at Christmas time and I was shopping with about $400-500 cash in my purse. I had been taking karate for about six weeks. My Grandmaster had taught us that 90% of the time you can defend yourself from attacks with demonstrating confidence in your abilities to fight with martial arts.

Back to the story, one of the sales ladies in a store at the mall told me that she noticed a man following me and wanted to know if he was with me. It wasn't and she told me to be careful that there had been several attacks on customers during the Christmas shopping time. So I decided to call it a day and made my way to my car. When I was about a car away from it, I felt a man's hand fall firmly on my shoulder. I felt courage rise up inside me.

I quickly turned, dropped my purse, yelled and prepared to fight for all that I was worth with the martial art training that I had. The 6'4 guy that looked to be about 280-300 lbs. turned faster than I did and ran. I smiled with my head held high. My inner strength and confidence won out over brute strength and he wasn't going to stick around to find out how much I knew. My Grandmaster loves telling the story to all new students. It gives them inspiration.

In our world, unfortunately is laced with lies, cries, neighs, rites and crimes. Learning to take a stand is sometimes hard. No one said life would be easy, but learning to take a stand is worth it.

Are You Prepared?

Were you ever a boyscout or girl scout? What kind of general would send his soldiers into battle with no weapons, no strategy and no information about the enemy operations? He would either be cruel or stupid. Our motto is "Be Prepared."

Your Creator is your Commander in Chief and wants you to be prepared. Life on planet Earth is quite literally a daily battle. Depression attacks daily. It is a battle between good and evil, right and wrong, truth and lies. You will need to arm yourself to stand against the enemy.

Read and listen to positive possibilities and stories. Listen to and seek the truth. Live right. Turn negative thoughts into positive thoughts and actions. One step at a time. Meditate on happiness, peace and truth. Empower yourself with joy, inspiration and laughter. Be prepared for daily battles of anger, anxiety, panic attacks, depression and defeat. Never give up! Never, never, never give up!

You Are the Boss

Some days are good day, some are bad days. Some days when the work seems endless, when your boss is demanding and your loved ones act ungrateful, you may feel like running away from it all. I know, I've been there. Listen. You can look at your job on two levels. On one level your serving people IE (boss, customers, employees, co-workers, family members). On a higher level you were created for a special purpose. Your Creator picked you to do this job and will give you the strength to get it done. The Power that created you will strengthen you.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it is to be the boss and show others how to find joy. Not with anger and force but with love and inspiration. Every morning, meditate and ask your Creator to assist you in courage, peace and joy. Ask your Creator to empower you, equip you and help you fulfill your assignment. Paying the price to be the boss isn't easy but it is worth it.

Hugs in an attitude of gratitude,

The Butterfly

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could, and it could go no further.



So the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.

The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time. Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.



What the man, in his kindness and haste, did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our lives. If God allowed us to go through our lives without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. We could never fly!

The struggles and hardships that we have endured have made us what we are today. We are where we need to be at this point in our lives so that we can move forward with ease.

Like the bird that learned to fly with a broken wing. The bird learned to do what was thought to be impossible. The courage that brought us through all the trials and tribulations of the past is the same courage that will push us toward our victorious life ahead. We are victors not victims.

One day, my Mom was outside in the yard feeling down after the death of my Dad. Butterflies flutter around her garden all the time.

This one day a butterfly attacked her and tried to keep her from going through the path that she had chosen. She laughed because she was so much larger than a little butterfly.

She started back on the path and again, the butterfly attacked her chest to keep her from her path. This time she took a step backward to see why this butterfly would attempt to do such a feat. Then she notice that another butterfly laid in the path where she would have walked.

The butterfly on the ground was apparently injured and the other butterfly was trying to muster all the courage to give the other butterfly precious moments of life. Mom changed her course.

A few days later, Mom saw two butterflies fluttering around her. I don't know if it was the same butterflies or not. What matters is that she learned to have butterfly courage to go on through a difficult struggle and those butterflies taught her that life is too short not to enjoy each precious moment. Out of our struggles comes new life!

Let Your Heart Dance

Someone once defined joy as peace dancing. Can you relate to that? Imagin a joyful child. See how they dance for joy. Hear the sounds of laughter.

Unlike happiness, joy is not influenced by what 's happening around you. It's an inner assurance that you are the blessed controller of all things. It's a grateful realization that you were given by your Creator . . . an unbounded love that can never be taken away.

When you are dwelling in joy, there will be no room for fear or depression. Your face will wear a new expression. Your head and your heart will know a new serenity. Let go of anger, anxiety, panic and fear. Cultivate a new feeling of joy. Let your peace rise up in joyful dance. Dance to the music you hear in your heart. Let the abundance of joy flow through you.

Don't Worry

Worry is an enemy that arrives on your doorstep disguised as a friend. When you're in trouble, Worry says, "Stick with me, kid. I'll help you deal with this." Worry brings his friend, Depression and Anxiety. The longer worry sticks around, the more depression and anxiety will loom.

What a lie! Worry never contributes anything positive. It's a circular thought pattern that only leads to more worry. In the end it leaves you with a knot in your stomach and no plan of action.

When you hear the knock, knock, knock of worry at your door, don't answer it. Instead think of positive possibilities. Meditate on good possiblities. Empower yourself. Ask for the help of your Creator. Trust in your Creator. The Power that created you has the power to guide you to safety. Count your blessings. Be grateful for the little things in your life. Ask your Creator for a solution, and peace will stand guard outside your heart to keep worry off the premises. Ask. One step at a time. You will notice, that depression and worry will leave to have peace and happiness surround you with laughter.

Lessons for Truth, Justice and Creativity

Within every human being exists an infinite supply of creativity, strength, and fight for justice.
You are capable of more than you know.

Let me tell you about a real life person. Her name is Lynn Boudreaux.

Lynn was born a few minutes after her twin sister Donna on February 4, 1961. Shortly after birth, Lynn was diagnosed with cerebral palsy. Doctors told her parents that she would not be able to talk, and she would never be a student in a regular classroom. Her parents were great believers in possibilities. They worked with their daughters. Their Mom was a music teacher. By the time Donna was 3, she was not only talking up a storm but had a thirst for vocabulary. Lynn had a language that only she and Donna could understand. One day, while their Mom was getting breakfast ready, the most beautiful music came out of the piano room.

Their Mom told Donna to get off the piano and come to breakfast. Donna came. The music continued. The Mother looked puzzled at Donna because she knew it was too early for her students, and said, "Who's that playing on the piano?"

Donna went into the piano and said, "Mother get in here, because you're not gonna believe me!"

When the Mom arrived, she dropped her jaw. There sat, Lynn, playing the piano; looked up and smiled. The subconscious mind had listened to the Mother giving the other students lessons and though she had never had one lesson, was able to play the piano. In fact, I believe it was one of Mozart's pieces that one of the students had been practicing for an upcoming recital.

Lynn continued to amaze her family and friends.

When I met Donna, she was a little embarrassed about introducing me to Lynn. Because Donna was so beautiful, every boy wanted her and because of her twin sister, many didn't. Even back them I was trying to be supportive and give her possibilities and empowerment.

I don't know what happened to them. Some people come into to our lives and leave footprints on our hearts. We are touched by everyone we meet. Anyway, I thought of them today and decided to write about it. In loving memory!

Are you a success if you play it safe your whole life and never dare anything unless you are guaranteed victory?

When you set milestones, it is important to set many smaller milestones that coincide with it. Even if you fail to reach your deadline for one milestone, you will still succeed at many, and you will build your confidence to a much higher level. Give yourself empowering reasons for getting up when you feel down.

There is a champion inside YOU.

What can you do that will inspire you to unleash it?

Keep On Keeping On.

Live Your Dreams.

Hugs in an Attitude of Gratitude,

Activity is Therapy

Research shows us that positive mental exercises can lift depression, even major depression. Some ways to put us in a happier mood: Will Rogers once said, “Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.”

I know sometimes it feels like ‘I don’t want to do anything.’ A few minutes can turn in to hours, hours turn in to days, weeks, months and even years. So when you feel the darkness coming on, that’s the time to do something.

If we were never depressed, we would not be alive - only physical non-living things don't get depressed. If humans were not capable of depression, we would not be capable of happiness or excitement. Some things were meant to depress us such as death and things related to death. It's a matter of how long and how deep we're depressed. When you examine yourself, take in to account your capacity for depression.

Depression tends to turn us away from doing the ordinary things of life. In doing little things we find inspiration and that is taking control against depression. We must take these baby steps to find inspiration. If, however, we do little things just to fight depression we will only deepen our despair. When our spirit leads us to do something, the moment that we do it, depression vanishes. As soon as we arise, we enter a higher pleateau in life. Try it! Listen and do the little things again.

Little things make a difference. Activity for as little as 10-15 minutes can make a difference.
1.) Try going to a different room to get a drink of water. Take a sip or two of water in each room for 10 minutes. Make a game out of it. Our bodies are made of water and need to be replenished. Movement makes a difference.
2) Go for a 10 minutes walk.
3.) Try 15 minutes of stretching.
4.) Do 10-15 of gardening or painting.
5.) Clean a room or corner for 10 minutes.
6.) Go for a 10 minutes swim.
7.) Find a hobby or group you can join and go do it for at least 10 minutes. There are usually groups that play 42, dominoes, checkers, bingo, etc. or volunteer your time at a retirement home – there are many people there that want someone to play a game with, play the piano, sing, put a puzzle together or just talk to. They are happy to have someone.

Other things you can do to improve your mental state are to eat a good breakfast, avoid negative people and don’t snooze when your alarm goes off in the morning. Get on up! You mentally start your mind on the right track when you do. Positive thoughts increase your immune system as proven by recent research. So whenever you see yourself having a negative thought, try to rephrase it to a positive thought. Make a plan for the next day so you have a reason to get on up.
Reward yourself in the morning for getting up with a special tea, coffee or breakfast treat for getting up. Chart your activities at the end of the day. Count your activities – one point for each activity. See how many points you can get each day. Chart to see your improvement. The only one you are competing with is yourself.

Activity is therapy!

Change of Habits

Whenever you have a negative thought see if you can think of solutions. Focusing on the seemingly impossible problems you have in your life will not help you solve them any quicker. It brings you down faster. Watch how quickly a child will try to find a possitive solution. Try to do the same.

Watch some cartoons or read a funny story. Always try to make time in your day to find a way to laugh. Make sure you get your belly to laugh every day.

Listen to music that relaxes you or uplifts you. Giving yourself energy through listening to music you like is an important part of developing your “happy habit”. Music is to the soul like a bandaid is to a cut.

Read or listen tobooks, anything else that inspires you. This will keep your thoughts positive and will help you stray into negativity.

Try to make other people happy. Volunteer to do something for someone else and see how you feel better. In doing something for someone else, you take you mind off your own problems. Doing at least one task each day for the express purpose of making someone else happy will help create and spread your “happy habit”.

Be happy for others in their happiness and don't envy their happiness. It's hard, sometimes to see other people feeling happy if you are not. Instead of feeling envious of them, just feel happy for them. It is great to surround yourself with lucky, fortunate people. Keep positive company around you. If you surround yourself with genuine people with positive attitudes and laughter, you will find that you will catch some of that energy. Joy is contagious, as is laughter.

Focus on your accomplishments and not the things you didn't accomplish, within reason. Focusing on goals you have met will help you develop plans to meet new goals.

Focusing on your goals can be complicated, but with a plan in place to visualize your goals and accomplish them properly, you might find that achieving goals can actually be fun. Of course, many people don't know how to make a plan to meet their goals and, instead, struggle with all of the negative feelings. Don't let negativity break you down. Instead, use your energy to find ways to step towards what you wish to have in life and make it happen.

Have a good day!

Look for the light!

Look for the light! When darkness sets in and you can't seem to find your way look for the light and keep your eye on it! The light will guide you safely thru as long as you keep focus.

There is nothing to gain about what we do not have. If we would have peace, then let us accept ourselves as we are with our own limitations and start from there. History shines with names of people who did this.

We cannot remake ourselves, but do the best we can with what we have. Accept ourselves.
Robert Louis Stevenson never had a well day in his life but he refused to bow down to low spirits and left a rich legacy of literature for future generations.

Helen Keller who was blind refused to face the shadows but instead chose to face the light so the shadows would fall behind her.

Sir Walter Scott was lame but it did not deter him. He accepted it gracefully and his biography reveals an enthusiastic, well-intergrated, radiant being.

There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. - Carl Jung

Life is just one damned thing after another. - Elbert Hubbard

Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep. - Fran Lebowitz

Life is something that everyone should try at least once. - Henry Tillman

Life is like playing a violin in public and learning the instrument as one goes on. - Sammel Butler

Life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all. - William Goldman

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon. - Woody Allen

Life is a zoo in a jungle. - Peter De Vries

Never - never - never give up! Never reduce yourself to a robot. Accept yourself and be on your way!

The fortunes of life are ever-changing so we are called upon to constantly change. Accept and adjust yourself to have peace in your life. Happy people are like that.

Life is still what you make it.

Be good to yourself and keep your eye on the light

You Are Not Alone

Brooke Shields, actress” It seemed to me that I already would never be again happy, as though I am failed in a large black hole”.

Gail Porter“It awfully, awfully, awfully. One and a half years passed, I knew before, that I had depression after births of child “.

Goddard Trish,” A danger threatened me, that I will be deprived children, when I may need conduct five weeks in a psychiatric clinic. There is such variety of depression - depression of smiling man. It is simple something frightful - this was just my case”.

Linda Hamilton, actress“Periods of depression were simply terrible. As though fall in a hatch and can not heave up a lid and get out”.

Melinda Messenger, model” I wanted itself to put to death. I cried constantly. I thought: “As would be healthy, if a motor-car failure happened and I was broken up to death”.

Melanie C, former soloist Spice Girls“I test fear constantly, that depression can return, but I try all doing is correct. I try to sleep enough, because I know that sleep is needed, that it is normal to function, and I must correctly feed and engaged in physical exercises”.

Sarah Lancashire, actress“From 20 to 30 I had the lost years. It is cruel illness, because you can not hide it in any way “.

Ruby Yоrкs,“Depressions are very cyclic, they are one time in five years. When I appeared on television, I was self merriment, it can not be imitated. Depression comes as a plague”.

Richard Dreyfuss, actor“I said a doctor: you will examine me, I not all right, I behave wrong”.

Sinead Okonnor, singerI have a manic-depressive psychosis. A basic symptom was constantly sounding in a head voice which talked, that I put to death itself”.

Jack Di, comic actor “Depression - it that always appeared in my life, but now I learned with it to be celebrated. It is sorry that it did not happen many years ago, because it indeed facilitated my existence”.

Kylie Minougue, singer“At first all be well, and then all of it is suddenly closed. It is sufficient reason for uncertainty and depression. I usually began to cry”.

Cathie Prays (Dzhordan), model“I was complete psychopath. I felt that there is something in me, that I am unable to control”.

Rassel Grant,“It is a labyrinth from chaos. Sometimes gets to the point where already however you, you living or died”.

Nil Lennon, footballer“Feel, as though go on a long dark corridor, and does not know when light will appear”.

Keysha Byukanan, singer“At depression it is possible to enter and go out from depression state, so that is incomprehensible, it passed already or not. Sometimes I began without cause to cry”.

Ben Mudi, musician“I was in terrible depression, I felt a complete unlucky person - as a leader of group, as professional, as man”.

Jim Kerri, actor“I long time sat on prozake. It, maybe, in certain moment showed me out of cork-screw, but some people accept it right through life”.

James Dynes of Bredfild, Manic Street Peachers“I grew into a quite despairing and aggressive man, I could not communicate with people. ”

You are not alone. Thousands of people share your feelings. We can unite to bring about a better tomorrow.

I have a dream that one day I won't hold my breath every time I tell a person that I suffer from depression, that I won't feel shameful in confessing my mental illness.

I have a dream that people won't feel the need to applaud me for my courage on writing and speaking publicly about my disease, because the diagnosis of depression would be understood no differently than that of diabetes, arthritis, or dementia.

I have a dream that the research into genetics of mood disorders will continue to pinpoint specific genes that may predispose individuals and families to depression (like the gene G72/G30, located on chromosome13q), just as specific genes associated with schizophrenia and obsessive-compulsive disorder have been located and identified.

I have a dream that brain-imaging technology will continue to advance in discovering what, exactly, is going on inside the brain, that a neurological perspective coupled with a biochemical approach to mental illness will develop targeted treatments: new medication and better response to particular medications--that we can cut out that painful trial-and-error process.

I have a dream depressives won't have to risk their jobs in divulging their condition, that employers will respond more empathetically to the country's more than 8.9 million working depressives, that the general public willbe more educated on mental illness so that it doesn't cost this country more than $44 billion each year (like it does now).

I have a dream that families, friends, and co-workers will show kindness to depressives, not reproach them for not being stronger, for not having enough will power and discipline and incentive to get well, for notsnapping out of it, for not being grateful enough, for not seeing the cup half full, for not controlling their emotions.I have a dream that tabloids and celebrities like Tom Cruise won't lump allegations of Britney Spears' taking antidepressants into the same category as her 24-hour marriage, all-night clubbing, and pantylessphotos--that our world might be more sophisticated and informed than that.

I have a dream that people will no longer use the following terms to describe persons with mental illness: fruity, loony, wacky, nutty, cuckoo, loopy, crazy, wacko, gonzo, nutso, batty, bonkers, ditzy,bananas, and crazy.

I have a dream that spiritual leaders might preach compassion to persons with mental illness, not indict them for not praying hard enough, or in the right way, or often enough, and that judgmental new-age thinkers who blame all illness on blocked energy (in chakras one through seven) might be enlightened to understand that although alternatives may help they do not cure.

I have a dream that health insurance companies will stop serving Satan, and read a medical report every now and then, where they would learn that depression is a legitimate, organic brain disease, and that thosewho suffer from it aren't a bunch of weak, pathetic people who can't cope with life's hard knocks.

I dream that one day depression won't destroy so many marriages and families, that better and faster treatment will work in favor of every form of intimacy.

I have a dream that suicide won't take more lives than traffic accidents, lung disease, or AIDS, that together we can do better to reduce the more than 30,000 suicides that happen annually in the United States, and that communities will lovingly embrace those friends and families of persons who ran out of hope, instead of simply ignoring the tragedy or attaching fault where none should be. That people will protest to stop suicide as more people die from suicide than any war.

I have a dream that one day depression, bipolar disorder, and all kinds of mental illness will lose their stigma, that I won't have to whisper the word "Zoloft" to the pharmacist, that people will be able to have loud conversations in coffee shops about how they treat their depression (in addition to the excellent dialogue we have here on Lighthouse of Halo).

Mostly, I dream about a day when I can wake up and think about coffee first thing in the morning, rather than my mood--is it a serene one, a panicked one, or somewhere in between?--and fretting about whether ornot I'm heading toward the black hole of despair or the shadow of death. I dream that I'll never ever have to go back to that harrowing and lonely place of years ago. That no one else should have to either. But if they do (or if I do), that they not give up hope. Because eventually their tomorrow will be better than their today. And they will be able to dream again too.

I dream of having a glowing vision of the future that helps you tackle the core beliefs about yourself -- such as doubts about your own worthiness for success -- that have held you back until now. So as you peel back the curtains around your core self, you become ready to tap the source of all change and success-self-love, and forgiveness for past failures. Together we can make that dream come true. I'm here for you and you are there for me. Together we help each other. Self-love doesn't happen by luck or the grace of God. You have to create it. These are among the most important elements of it.

* Honoring yourself and who you really are. Love is your birthright. As Teilhard de Chardin said, "We are not human beings having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings having a human experience."

* Telling the highest truth, which is that we are powerful beings capable of creating joy and success or pain and suffering in our lives. We are not destined to be victims. We have the power to choose, and thispower is both the greatest responsibility we have and the greatest opportunity.

* Honoring who you are becoming. Self-love involves recognizing that you are constantly evolving and growing to become a more powerful and more loving being.

* Honoring your feelings and responding to those feelings. Remember, feelings are important signals, and even the so-called negative feelings of anger and fear serve the important purpose of alerting us to theobstacles in our life.

* Recognizing that the universe is literally made of love. "If we will just open ourselves to receive, like flowers opening to the sun, then everything is possible," says Glenda Rice, hypnotherapist and life coach based in Houston, Texas.

When things go wrong or goals don't materialize, most people blame their past, their parents, life in general or God. We are even encouraged to do this by friends and family who are well-meaning. We also devote agreat deal of energy to settling for what is, without recognizing what we can become.

All the great wisdom traditions speak of the unlimited power we have within us. Both quantum physics and psychology offer proof that our thoughts create our reality. Yet, many people strenuously object to the truth that we create our own reality.

Some argue that it's not loving to tell a sick person they had anything to do with creating their illness. Yet, by not owning their power when they are sick, they are consigning themselves to a life of being a victim of any virus or circumstance that comes their way. This powerlessness is the source of most depression, and it leads to more illness and problems such as overeating. However by owning their power, they have the ability to overcome it. I have seen the black hole and I have come back to the light.

It is more honest and even more loving to gently help people recognize the power they have to create their reality, including failures. I have seen one that was in the fog for over 13 years accept the day she decided to be depressed and came back to the light. Once we do that, then we must forgive ourselves for the painful experiences we have previously chosen in our lives. "I don't know all the parts of me that are creating the failed relationships, but I am willing to learn about them."

Only by seeing how in the past we have allowed problems to control us, and forgiving ourselves, can we really change and be free to go forward in life feeling more powerful, able to create the success and happiness we want. We have the right to make the most of what we have. We can't always control what happens but we can control how we react to it.

Forgiveness is not only a form of self-love, it is completely an inside job. First you have to own your mistakes. Here is how.* Imagine a future where you totally love yourself and have totally owned your power.

* Reach for an understanding of why you would choose limitations in your life. We are often taught by family and life experiences that being weak, sick or helpless is the way to get attention or help. Look at your own and other peoples attempts to get acceptance, attention and love. Ask yourself, what was I taught about being lovable? About being powerful and responsible for my life?

* Then forgive yourself for having made mistakes. Imagine how your future self would forgive you for a mistake.

* Then you can consciously create better methods for getting the acceptance, attention, love and success that you want.

Together we can make a difference for guiding the process of forgiveness and empowerment to make our dreams come true.

Hugs in an attitude of gratitude,

Today is tomorrow's opportunity

The dreams of yesterday are the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow. With each step we take we move forward to our dream of yesterday. Without that movement we cannot have hope and the reality of our dream will not come to pass. The movement however small the progress is most important for it is the key that we are alive and are progressing. As long as we keep moving we will reach our destiny. It's not how fast we accomplish our task but that we keep moving toward our goal as long as it takes. Do whatever it takes and our dreams become our reality.

Are you one of those people who spend your present dwelling on the past? The past is becoming too important to you. You're avoiding the present, emphasizing past failures, indulge in guilt. None of this living with past hurts or what you perceive to be an insult is helpful. Evening the score isn't helpful either, because it is permitting the past to dictate the future.

The present, the now, the in-the-moment, gets lost. The present is mostly used as a reminder of past injuries or failures. You then react to things that occur to you in the present as if you were in the past. If you're thinking about things "past" in your mind, that past can then dictate your reactions here in the present.

When your thinking is about the past, that is your point of reference, and whoever you're dealing with has a big problem because you're not seeing or hearing him accurately. Instead, you're hearing echoes from the past. Those echoes carry pain in your mind and justify your attacks in the present in return for a past no one else sees and for whom it doesn't exist. Do you see how the past can dictate your future? Think of all the opportunities you could be missing out on.

Here's an example of something that happened to me just a few months ago. My family decided to meet at a small, local Chinese restaurant to eat dinner. We went in separate cars and my younger daughter was in my car with me.

Just as each of you has done hundreds of times, we were making small talk, and were pretty much oblivious to everything around us. As we parked the car, a minivan zoomed into the parking space next to mine, slammed on his brakes, got out and started walking toward the restaurant. He parked so close to my car I literally could not get out of the car. I quickly asked him to move the car before he went into the restaurant since I couldn't get out the driver's door. I said it nice, honest. (I remember I wanted to be a smart aleck about it, but I held back).

He walked back to his car, yelled something to me about it wouldn't have been so tight if I had parked in the space correctly then, as he pulled away his side view mirror hit my mirror and he zoomed back into the parking spot. Now I wanted to knock him out. My daughter, sweet little thing that she is, was encouraging me to knock him out. But I'm too old to be fighting. I'm a lover, not a fighter, or at least I hope so. We walked into the restaurant and, of course, we told the rest of the family what happened. Ironically, they knew who we were talking about because they saw him storm into the restaurant and, in their words "He was nasty to his wife."

It's a harmless example, but the point is that he was obviously living in the past. I'm not sure what had caused him to become angry. His past almost dictated an ass whipping. (I am smaller than he was. Dynamite comes in small packages! )

That's just an example to get you to look at your own situation so you don't make mistakes like that. Think of the times when you overreacted because your son left dirty underwear on the floor or your daughter left wet towels on the bathroom floor. You are reacting to something he's done in the past perhaps dozens of times and that something was upsetting to you.

If he had left his underwear on the floor dozens of times before, then you have to improve your parenting skills. You might be yelling at him about it, but there have obviously not been any consequences for it. Kids respond marvelously to consequences.

Let me give you another perspective. There's a company called Centerpointe Research which does a wonderful job of teaching people different techniques for avoiding problems like this. They will tell you that when you have a conversation with someone, you should come from nothing.

When I first heard them talking about communicating from nothing I thought, "Whoa, I'm paying for this?" Then I started to get it and I hope, in light of the above discussion, it makes sense to you. Come from nothing. In other words, don't assume anything and don't bring past history into this current episode. This is not easy to do, but once you get the hang of it, you'd be amazed at how much you were missing. We usually go into conversations with an agenda or a prejudice - some point we want to make, or information we want to get.

Try having a conversation with someone without trying to be right, without an agenda, without assuming you know what they want. In the beginning, you won't be able to do this easily, but if you'll just try it in one conversation, you'll sense the difference immediately as something very positive. And then you can do it more and more often. Once you get it, it's the beginning of listening. It's also a big step toward giving up living in the past and living in the present. Once you can let go of perceived insults, when you live in the present, you get to create your future. The past no longer dictating your future.

Being happy is a choice. Today is yesterday's problem. We can't dwell on yesterday. There is nothing we can do to change it. So I do not need to worry about it. The only choice I have is to live one day at a time and that gives me my future. Today is tomorrow's opportunity. If I choose to be happy now, then I must do the thing that makes me happy. Choose to be happy, find inner peace and happiness and you will have a better tomorrow.