Perseverance

Perseverance
by Annie Tornabene





I will do whatever it takes to live my life to the max. I will keep on keeping on to overcome the storms of life. Perseverance is my way of life because I focus on positive results no matter how long it takes.

Denis Waitley said it, "Toughness gives you the resilience to keep pressing on, even if your determination and optimism are lagging." Jim Rohn said, "It takes time to build a corporate work of art. It takes time to build a life. And it takes time to develop and grow. So give yourself, your enterprise, and your family the time they deserve and the time they require." You can live every single day in love, peace and joy! How do you do that? Perseverance.

One way is to embrace your future by perseverance and determination to live your best life now. When everything around you is crumbling, when you’re facing the storms along the strings of life and your attitude on life will be determined by your "hook-up." (What you do when the storms in life come your way.) If your hook-up is grounded in an attitude of gratitude and you are determined to persevere whatever it takes to live your best life now; joy, peace and love flow through you to empower your life. That empowerment enables you to have perseverance in the face of adversity. That empowerment helps you understand depression and overcome the obstacles in life. It's another key to understanding depression. Together we can make a difference with perseverance.

What A Difference!

What A Difference!
by Annie Tornabene


















What a difference a day makes! Last night I was in such pain that I wanted to die. Have you ever felt like that? It seems like everything you do just isn't enough.

I didn't say anything to anyone because I knew they wouldn't understand. Depression hurts. When I looked at my family and thoughts of you, I knew I had reasons to keep fighting...to keep struggling to live another day. When I went to the dentist office today, my heart sank when he told me it would be another four months of agony before everything would be complete. I came home and cried. No one was around. I felt like I couldn't handle another four months of this. I could not take another day. It was just too much! My anxiety kicked in...I started sweating...my heart started racing...suddenly I couldn't breathe...you know the feeling...you know the reaction. It was a bad day. I'm sure you've had those days. If not, be very thankful.

Today ... what a difference! Today is not a day of defeat but a day of victory. In the strings of life, storms are part of life; it's part of being alive. It's not the storm that affects us, it's how we react to the storm that makes a difference. Obstacles can become opportunities for stepping stones for a new day. What a difference my attitude ... my way of thinking is.

It doesn't matter what kind of storm you are facing... failed relationships...failed financial crisis... physical ailments... decisions made that turned sour and affect others. It can change and be better. The only thing that can't change is ending it all. (Those of you with thoughts of suicide, know what I'm talking about. You can't fool me, I've had them too.) Just because we have had storms in our lives or because we have made mistakes in our lives, it doesn't have to be like that forever. Our Creator isn't finished with us yet! Our Creator still has a plan or a blueprint waiting for us to get back on line - what a difference!

If you think you are having a bad day, think or look at this picture ... he was rescued by a helicopter that took this picture.

Together we can make a difference in understanding depression. What a difference a day brings.

Toxic Emotions

Toxic Emotions
by Annie Tornabene

SEXY & HOT COMMENTS



Have you ever felt the venom of anger? The bitterness of fear? Or the sting of hatred? All of these emotions are toxic to our bodies just like poison. It's like going pass a chemical plant that is releasing toxin gases into the air. It makes it hard to breathe. Have you passed a chemical plant like that? It takes your breath away.

Then why to we rob ourselves of precious moments of life with these toxic emotions? It's not the emotions that are bad for us, it is how we deal with them. These toxic emotions let us know that we are human, we all have them. These emotions are toxic subtle energy. If you hold it in, they fester in your system, eating you alive, or else exploded. I'm sure you have heard of at least one or two who have made the headlines. They were seemingly quiet people who suddenly snapped and took revenge. I remember having days like that. Maybe you have too.

I remember one day being so frustrated with insurance companies and pharmacies after my accident. I yelled and screamed at the pharmacy because my pain medicine wasn't ready. Finally I snapped and screamed, "What do I have to do to make someone notice that I have a problem? Kill someone? Or kill myself?"

Everyone in the store heard me. Everything got quiet. The pharmacist was trying to keep me calm. That was a wake-up call for me. I realized I had to start monitoring my emotions. It was not healthy to allow my emotions to get so far out of control. I had to learn to diffuse my emotions before they got to that point.

I had to learn to identify the source of my emotions. What was the trigger? On a scale of one to ten, what was the level of anxiety that I was feeling? Impulsive and unconscious emotions were ten and mildly agitated was a one or two. I had to learn to slow down my reaction.

You can 't run or hide from your toxic emotions, but you can slow down your reactions. In the heat of the emotions is not the best time to try and correct the problem. Otherwise, you're like a snake coiled to strike at it's victim. No one wins but damage is left behind from the toxic emotions. If you can avoid confrontation and allow the emotions to cool, you can calmly talk out your problems and come to a peaceful resolution.

I learned when I was feeling these emotions, I had to take a deep breath and remove myself from the situation at least by the time it got to a four. Sometimes I didn't notice I had the emotions until it got to a three. Then had to quickly rate it and realize that I had to have the courage to get out while it was on the rise. Taking a deep breath helped me slow down my toxic emotions. It gave me time to think what was the source of my feeling and what was the rate of it. Most of the time, 24 hours made a big difference. After 24 hours I could look at the situation a little different and was more realistic about the outcome. I could write about it in my journal which didn't hurt anyone or I could do a painting which again didn't hurt anyone.

Some of my paintings have become known as the suicidal paintings. My family learned when I was painting one of those to get out of my way while I was painting. After I got the emotions out, I was calm and could talk to them. If they interfered while I was in that mood, they were liable to get blasted.

Sometimes after I wrote about it in my journal or did a painting of it, I could see the humor in it. I learned to laugh about the problem and about how quick I was to coil over the problem. Does any of this sound familiar?

I learned to meditate to help me stay focused; to allow peace to enter into my life. Those two minute meditations became calming for me. They became my lifesavers. The longer meditations helped me start and end the day in peace.

I learned to drop my fears and human emotions into our Creator's hands and watch them sink from sight just like a drop of water into a pool. Together we can make a difference in understanding depression and toxic emotions. Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

The Makeover

The Makeover
by Annie Tornabene

I was reading in Glamour Magazine and realized how much depression is like having a makeover. People who knew me a few years ago would agree. The beauty makeovers that transform a lady who thought she had no beauty transformed into a really beautiful person decked out with flattering clothes and makeup highlighted just in the right spots. That's what I'm talking about.

I was looking at some pictures of me then. I would fly off the handle at the slightest problem. I was always expecting the worst. I was always growling. My pictures show a person that was bitter and heavily overweight. I can't believe I was ever that large. lol The depression was the darkest and they said I was suicidal. I guess it's true, the darkest hour is just before the dawn.

A makeover in depression transforms the character, strengthens the integrity and purifies the motives. In understanding depression, you have to learn to trust in our Creator. Let our Creator empower our makeover. Meditation allows the mind healing. It relieves anxiety and worry. It allows tranquility and peace to enter into every fiber of your being to give you the freedom to live the life you dream and allow possibilities to appear in your subconscious mind that you can react to. Joy and laughter enter into our being. One day you wake up and find that happiness has taken over.

For me, meditation was the biggest key. Oh I had prayed before, but prayer is me asking or telling my Creator my problems. In meditation, it is our Creator communicating with us. If we focus on the light, the Light gives us strength and brings solutions along with peace and tranquility to accept what things cannot be change, the courage to change the things that we can and the wisdom to know the difference.

I start the day with a 20 minute meditation and end the day with a 20 minute meditation. During the day I may have several 2 minute meditations to help keep me focused or reclaim myself when thing seem to becoming unraveled. I was telling someone yesterday how much the 2 minute meditations have helped me. I've learn how to trust in my Creator's inner wisdom and honor my worthiness to receive this gift. I have become empowered with unconditional love, an empowering force of the law of attraction and joy and happiness have become my friends. I find every day a reason to live and laugh. Remember, I'm just like you. When I remind you, I am reminding me.

Our Creator designed the earth to be self supporting - everything is interconnected and all things were created to be of service to each other. Generosity to the poor and reverence for our Creator's wisdom is not separate from any part of our lives. It becomes us as we live in an attitude of gratitude. The makeover transforms us to see the beauty within ourselves. Enjoy your makeover. The beauty and light from within shines bright on the outer person.

Click here to hear Dr. Wayne Dyer on meditation.

Attitude of Gratitude Again

The older I get, the more I realize that life is a journey where we need to be in an attitude of gratitude to make the most of our life. If we are in an attitude of gratitude, we experience the best possibilities life has to offer us.

If we are in troubled waters or a storm of life, think can I do something about it? Is there a better way? What can be changed? Define what that means to you. Each of us have a different view point so each of us has our own goal. What I can do to change may be different than what you can do to change? Both courses will get us to our destination because it's the goal that we choose for our life.

Instead of asking "why?" ask "what?" Everyone has storms in our lives. Everyone suffers depression at some point in their life. It's a matter of how long you choose to be depressed that makes the difference. Instead of complaining why me. Start thinking what lessons do I need to learn in this circumstance. It's the little things in life that defeat us. That is why we must conquer it daily. Bling it on!

Do not let the chains of depression get you down. Your obstacles can be your greatest opportunities. Your setbacks can be your stepping stones. Let it be like a drop of water that ripples through the water to changes the course in our lives. Let it open a path for you. Remember there is a silver lining behind every dark cloud. The pulling on the chains can be the release you needed to free yourself from depression.

When you have a bad day, ask yourself what will it matter a hundred years from now? I know sometimes it feels that the problem we are faced with is the worst possible fear and it will change everything. 99% of the time, it's just our panic attacks kicking in. When all is said and done it won't matter. Or tomorrow things will look brighter. I have found that waiting a day, I can see clearer and make a better decision. What difference does it make?

The Power Of One

Dreams are illustrations from the book your soul is writing about you. ~ Marsha Norman

The power of one is a tremendous force. It doesn't seem like much by itself. In a dark room, try lighting one candle and see how much light appears. Add another candle one by one and see how bright the room becomes. The same with water. One drop doesn't look like much, but keep dropping water until you have an ocean. Just one drop of water can cause a ripple effect that courses across the terrain of water. Just as our words positive or negative can make such an impact on the people around us. Our thoughts and actions that we have can plow a course through the universal consciousness. Wow what power we have when we control our thoughts and words and speak with wisdom, love and clarity for human kind. Together we can make a difference in changing the course of depression.

Just one though, then add another thought. Like a magnet, more positive thoughts are added. Others do the same thing and together we change the universe with our thoughts. That is power.

Learn to control your thoughts. We can begin to control our thoughts in meditation. This is your way of finding peace, reducing stress, and finding your tranquility. You may find that meditation helps you keep focus and dedicated. Lighting a candle reminds us of life. I use a purple lotus tea light holder and ask for quietness.

Meditation is my way of staying organized, focused and in control. Be still and know the power of one. Sometimes I need just a two minute meditation time, sometimes I need more to keep my thoughts and body in control. How do you feel about harnessing the power of one?

Listen To Your Heart

Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Sometimes we feel anger, anxiety, fear, depression, worry and other feelings of related to the black fog in our lives. It is easier to feel the freedom from the strings of life when we listen to your heartstrings. You, like many of us, have lots of thoughts running through your mind at any given moment. You probably spend much of your day multi-tasking. All of this chaos makes it difficult to hear your heartstrings. It is important to find some ways to quiet your mind so that your mind can heal. You can't shut off your thoughts completely, but you can learn to slow them down. Let go of all the distracting thoughts flow out of your mind. Picture your thoughts floating away on a cloud. Relax more with each breath. You might even try counting down from 10 to 1 and allow yourself to relax more with each count. Once your mind is clearer, you can then access your heartstrings.

Meditation is an excellent ways to get focused. Even a few minutes of meditation daily can increase your ability to hear your heartstrings. Meditation is like priming the pump. As you get used to being in a meditative state, you will find that it is easier to hear the whispers from your heart. Calming the mind begins mind healing. Take a deep breath and let courage enter in. Getting frustrated will only interfere with the process.

Visualize to help you access heartfelt answers to your questions. Imagine yourself in a quiet place in nature, surrounded by beauty and wonder. Make this image as vivid as possible by using all of your senses - touch, sight, taste, smell and hearing. Spend a few moments simply enjoying this place in your mind’s eye. See yourself opening the treasure chest of your heartstrings. Don't try to control this, let your heartfelt mind guide you. Trust that whatever is inside the treasure chest is your answer. It will become clear over time. Be patient! Learn to go with the flow of your heartstrings.

Be sure to keep a journal by your bed so that you can record your heartstrings. Look for the emotions and themes and see if this sheds light on your problem.

You can use affirmations to focus your mind healing and help you listen to your heart. It is best to use affirmations with some form of relaxation to help with mind healing. Affirmations are a terrific way to tap into the power of your subconscious mind to help you empower your conscious desires. Affirmations should be concise sentences stated in a positive way. When creating an affirmation remember to state what it is that you want, not what you don’t want. Another important guideline is to always use the present tense when creating your affirmations.

Practice listening to your heartstrings. After you start practicing you will notice small issues beginning to empower your life. Practicing with these simple issues will allow you to stay relaxed and focused without too much distraction from fear or other mental chaos. You will gain confidence that will enable you to act upon it. You can use this inner strength to guide you in all of your decisions at work, at home, and at play. Listen to your heart will always guide you to the path that is for your highest good.

The Art of Forgiveness

Some years ago during a visit to Yellowstone Park with my Pomeranians, I observed that the only animal that the grizzly bear would share his food with was a skunk.

It wasn't that the grizzly wanted to share his food but rather that he chose to. With his powerful paw he could have crushed the skunk with one swing. However the bear knew the high cost to getting even. Clever bear! Undoubtedly he learned the hard way.

Strange that we humans often aren't as smart as the the average bear. We carry grudges for years, sometimes repressing them from conscious memory; not knowing why we feel resentment, and end up hurting ourselves more than the ones that caused the pain. We fail to see how damaging an unforgiveness is. What happens in those times when you get the feeling it’s time to move on? What happens when you continually come up against roadblocks that you can’t seem to overcome? What happens when all your unrewarded efforts just seem to depress you?

Doctors and counselors alike attest to the damage done by failing to forgive. Some medical doctors estimate that the majority of illnesses they treat are related to emotional problems such as resentment which is a lack of forgiveness. One doctor wrote in his book, "None of These Diseases", that a forgiving spirit could save us from ulcerated colitis, toxic goiters, high blood pressure, and scores of other diseases including ulcers, asthma, arthritis, neurodermatitis, and heart ailments. All because of resentment. Counselors and psychiatrists see the roots of bitterness reflected in depression, anxiety, fear, anger, suicides worry, feelings of sabotage, and dysfunctional and broken relationships.

During med school, I read one report of an astonished patient who was told by his doctor: "If you don't cut out your resentments, I may have to cut out a part of your intestinal tract."

Fortunately, the man took the doctor's advice. He had been nursing a bitter grudge against a former business partner. He went to see this man, resolved their differences, and forgave him. When he returned to the doctor, his physical condition had cleared up. I've also seen many that could not learn to forgive. How many years did they live imprisoned by the past? How many died in that torment?

Not to forgive is to be imprisoned by the past.

Many times you will hear that only those who are persistent in life, love and career win the prizes. There is that famous quote from Calvin Coolidge hanging over our heads that ‘persistence and determination alone are omnipotent’. Over and over we are told that if we quit or change course midway through an endeavor, then we are weak or not made of the right mettle. But is this necessarily always true?

I’d like to share some simple ideas on how to decide when it is wise to walk away and change your course. These ideas might help you in your career, business, and relationships - life.

History is full of people, who quit one path, only to succeed greatly at something else. Ross Perot quit IBM to eventually become a self-made billionaire, Robbie Williams quit his boy-band tenure to become the highest paid solo pop artist of his generation; Diana, Princess of Wales ‘quit’ the Royal family, only to become more famous and respected for her humanitarian work. I could tell you numerous others that you wouldn't recognize their names like my Dad who change his course that lead to a better future.

Sometimes you reach a crossroads on a certain path in your life and it is time to reexamine to continue in the same way or to change directions. Sometimes the changes can be slight, sometimes they can be drastic. Sometime you can feel guilty, or grief at the possibility of walking away from something that has been important to you. Sometimes friends and family cause you grief over the changes. Only you can decide what those changes need to be.

Here are some simple guidelines that can help you make the right choice:

1) Ask yourself why you started what you’re doing? Think back to the beginning point of your current situation. If it’s a relationship, what drew you into it in the first place? Is that still important to you? If it’s a career or project or business, what made you decide to get involved? Get these answers clear first so you can see your starting point and how far you have come.

2) Discover if you have any challenge or interest left. Is there anything you feel is incomplete or unfinished in your current position? Anything you want to accomplish, learn, do or say to someone? If so, do it NOW so that you can move on without regret or need to back-peddle. This will free you to focus on your new future.

3) As you probably know, you are not alone. Others are in or have been in the same boat as you are in now. Look at those people who are a few years ahead in the same position and ask yourself whether you want to be where they are. This is a great eye opener. Look at your current situation and find someone a few years ahead of you who elected to stay in the same position you are in now. Consider whether you would like to be in a similar situation in a few years. If the answer is no, it’s probably time to move on.

4) Don't feel guilty. Often when we are familiar with something or someone for a long time, we simply feel a sense of guilt that holds us back. This can happen in relationships, careers, sports, business, etc.

A key to confidence in your life is to be certain in your mind that is totally okay to change your mind and stop banging your head against a wall that you no longer enjoy. Have courage that your life is yours first and you will find people around you will respect your decisions more than when you wishy washy. People around you, when you act wishy washy, think they are trying to help you by bring up all the possibilities and reasons you should stay the course.

5) Once you've made your decision, move quickly in your new life. Make sure your new focus holds your interest and gives you a sense of challenge, as this helps to emotionally lay the old activities to rest.

6) Make a class act decision. Changing course is rarely a pleasant experience. No one said life would be easy, just know that your decision is worth it. Often an unpleasant situation precedes the act of quitting. There can be emotions that are expressed, or things left undone in the process of walking away.

Wherever possible, move on without burning bridges by offending people. Doing this will save you much regret later on, and may just come in handy down the track, as you never know when people from the past will offer you a new opportunity in the future.

If you don't forgive the right way, resentment will poke its ugly head out at the most unexpected times similar to a couple gets into an argument and start dragging up events from the past. True forgiveness needs to be with our heart and soul. Obviously those things haven't been forgiven. Forgiveness may not forget the past but it can let bygones be bygones. It doesn't have to affect our present or our future.

Forgiveness can be very difficult if we have been hurt deeply but how do we forgive someone when that person doesn't even know or feel any wrong doing?

When a person recognizes his wrongdoing, that certainly makes forgiveness easier.

Sometimes he doesn't, which is usually the case. Forgiveness becomes a choice. We can choose to forgive or not to forgive. The choice is your? No one can make you forgive. You're the one that has to know it is right for you.

We need to realize is that forgiveness is essential perhaps more for our hurts and feelings because of resentment than it is for the one who has wronged us. Lack of forgiveness is caused by a mixture of hurt and anger. Therefore, to truly forgive, one needs to face and deal with their own hurt and anger. Even forgiveness of self. Remember we are victors not victims.

Therefore to resolve that resentment, we need to be totally honest and admit exactly how we feel. We need to get these feelings off our chest - not by lashing out and hurting the other person, but in love, visualizing or by writing out our feelings until they are completely dissipated. To forgive is not to ignore justice. Pope John Paul forgave his would-be-assassin, but the man stayed in prison, and rightly so. And where we want others to forgive us, we will want to do everything in our power to make a just restitution.

The important thing is that we respond to forgiveness by acknowledging wrongdoing and accepting free pardon. Let us freely forgive one another as we forgive ourselves.

Forgiveness frees and heals the forgiver. The mind healing has begun. Have you been freed?

The Treasure Chest

Did you know you have a treasure chest waiting to be discovered? It's like buried treasure. When you're sailing your ship in search of that treasure of happiness, don't be afraid of the rough winds of depression, the trouble seas of discouragement or the storms of life. Do not fear the fog of depression. Keep moving toward the teasures of life which are priceless. Have courage.

What are the treasures that I am talking about? The gold of your life, the silver of your joy and the priceless gems of laughter and friendships are but a few of the many treasures you will find.
You are worth far more than all of these.

Keep your sails up, stay the course, the anchor holds and you will find the light from the lighthouse will guide you to safety. Abundance flow from your treasure chest.

The Power that created you has the power to guide you. Empower yourself today.

Hold That Thought

One of the first things you teach your young children is how to cross the street safely. "Look both ways for traffic and hold tight to my hand," you say.

The traffic that threatens the safety of young people today includes some very deadly realities: violence, drugs, depression, teen suicides, teen pregnancies, and religious cults.

How can your children cross the street of life safely? How can you cross the street of life safely? You need to know about the potential dangers. No need to get hysterical and overstate the case. Just calmly make the statements. Be sensible. Hold the thought of happiness within you. Know that rushing out into the traffic of life leads to death, but holding on to truth and happiness leads to life and joy.

Can you relate to that? Every day take 30 minutes to dwell on happiness thoughts. Empower yourself with those thoughts.

Hold that thought!

Laughter Is The Best Medicine

Laughter is the best medicine. It is free...readily available to us whenever we remember a funny story or act in a silly way. Or maybe we see something in life, on TV or at the movies that is magnified in are own lives. Just watch our children or grandchildren. Like the time, my granddaughter hit the aquarium with her head and she said, "The fish bit me." If we are lucky, we continue to share our laughter with our family, friends and those we come in contact.

We talk about fun things or going somewhere that is fun for us. How many of us actual take the time to find humor in each day or laugh about anything? How many of us schedule into our today list a time for fun. It's important to work, but don't forget to play. We feel less stressed and feel more at eased when we laugh. Laughter is contagious. Don't think so? Try laughing and see what happens. It is like a drop of water that causes a ripple effect that courses through the depth and breath of water. Just as our words positive or negative can makes such an impact on the people around us. Our laughter can plow a course through the universal depression. It can inspire hope and reduce the number of suicides.

Of course, it is also important to allow ourselves to stay balanced. My motto is work hard, play hard.

Living a life of positive thinking and laughter is bound to have you feeling happier and more successful throughout your day-to-day routine. In fact, those that make positive thinking and laughter a key goal in their lives tend to experience more daily success and more happiness than anyone else. Visualizing goals and going after them are a key component to positive thinking. Keeping a light attitude towards life is a great way to keep laughter as the soundtrack to your life and have things looking a little bit brighter. When it comes to a healthy state of mind and body, positive thinking and laughter work hand in hand.

Having daily happiness and success are all about developing a habit. You'll need to start making a few changes in your life if you want to experience positive thinking and laughter on a regular basis, and you'll want to create an environment that encourages both those qualities, too. This may sound like work, but don't worry; it can actually be a lot of fun! One of the first things you'll want to do in developing your "happy habit" is to change the way you look at things in your life. Keep the focus on the bright side and think of the good side all the time. You may find that your mind will try to drag you down and look at the negative things in life more often than you'd like, but you have the power to change that focus and keep it on positive aspects. If you try to make your first thoughts about the bright side of the situation, you'll find yourself well on your way to developing your "happy habit". I'm checking on you and I'm gonna tell Santa!



Live, love and laugh!

Hugs in an attitude of gratitude

A Strum of the Heartstrings

Bam! The door slammed as Janice stormed out of Darrell's office. Darrell had shot down the proposal, just as Janice had feared. Just like every time before. "Why is he so obsessed with control?" Janice seethed in resentment. "How many times am I going to have to fight this battle?"

Feelings can be powerful disablers when our wishes aren't being realized. Like in this story there was a history that poisoned Janice's unconscious beliefs about her chance to bring about her desires. Until she could become aware that she unintentionally self-sabotaged, she was confused and disappointed by her results and left feeling powerless and angry. Feelings are influenced by our expectations, which are based on our beliefs. If we are experiencing what we want, then we feel happy and life is good. If we are experiencing something that we do NOT want, then we feel that life is dealing us lemons.

What if feelings are directives - self-generated decisions, based upon beliefs that cause what we experience? Like many fundamental truths of life, we often have the cause-effect relationship backwards. We sometimes feel that if we work harder, we'll get a raise; if I love you, you will love me; I would be happy if I had a new ... Sound familiar.

It's easy to understand the fallacy of the first example. To get a raise, you generally need to work harder FIRST. Working is the cause - a raise is the effect. Raises don't cause work. When did you last see someone work harder after getting a raise - beyond a day or two? You may not always get a raise by working harder, but it's highly unlikely you'll get one any other way.

The second example: I'll love you back if you love me first, turns love into a bartering tool. We're afraid of being vulnerable, so we insist that the other person step out on the limb first. Is that really love? Love isn't something we get from another, it's a personal choice to become loving. It's a way of being first, then it's a gift you share. The one who insists that their partner love first is dealing in fear, not love. And even if the partner does express love first, it's unlikely that that love will be felt by the other. Love is born internally (cause) or it's never experienced (effect).

The last example may be the hardest to challenge. I'll be happy when I get what I want. We are surrounded every day by the message that our happiness depends on external circumstances. If we don't have the car we want, the house we want, the clothes we want, the job we want, etc. - if we feel we are lacking whatever we believe causes happiness, we feel unhappy.

Because our life did not meet our wants or expectations, we chose to feel badly. Our feelings are a result of what we tell ourselves it means. Some hide or run away from those feelings, while others take action and change things. In both cases the is reactionary - giving power to the circumstance without understanding that the circumstance is an effect, not a cause. The cause was the combination of expectations, personally-determined meanings, and erroneous beliefs that our quality of life is determined by our circumstances.

If you take power over those feelings and direct your result it is like an artist or writer. You are the artist, life is the canvas. You have the power of the pen to transform your life. Life is your agent fulfilling your commands. Through the thoughts and feelings you choose, you direct life to become. To be what you want. No longer a puppet controlled by someone or at the hands of thoses who would defeat you. You will often feel amazed and manipulated by what you learn. Believe me when I say, you ignited the effect by changing. You have the power to change.

Dream the live you were meant to dream!

Activity is Therapy

Research shows us that positive mental exercises can lift depression, even major depression. Some ways to put us in a happier mood: Will Rogers once said, “Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.”

I know sometimes it feels like ‘I don’t want to do anything.’ A few minutes can turn in to hours, hours turn in to days, weeks, months and even years. So when you feel the darkness coming on, that’s the time to do something.

If we were never depressed, we would not be alive - only physical non-living things don't get depressed. If humans were not capable of depression, we would not be capable of happiness or excitement. Some things were meant to depress us such as death and things related to death. It's a matter of how long and how deep we're depressed. When you examine yourself, take in to account your capacity for depression.

Depression tends to turn us away from doing the ordinary things of life. In doing little things we find inspiration and that is taking control against depression. We must take these baby steps to find inspiration. If, however, we do little things just to fight depression we will only deepen our despair. When our spirit leads us to do something, the moment that we do it, depression vanishes. As soon as we arise, we enter a higher pleateau in life. Try it! Listen and do the little things again.

Little things make a difference. Activity for as little as 10-15 minutes can make a difference.
1.) Try going to a different room to get a drink of water. Take a sip or two of water in each room for 10 minutes. Make a game out of it. Our bodies are made of water and need to be replenished. Movement makes a difference.
2) Go for a 10 minutes walk.
3.) Try 15 minutes of stretching.
4.) Do 10-15 of gardening or painting.
5.) Clean a room or corner for 10 minutes.
6.) Go for a 10 minutes swim.
7.) Find a hobby or group you can join and go do it for at least 10 minutes. There are usually groups that play 42, dominoes, checkers, bingo, etc. or volunteer your time at a retirement home – there are many people there that want someone to play a game with, play the piano, sing, put a puzzle together or just talk to. They are happy to have someone.

Other things you can do to improve your mental state are to eat a good breakfast, avoid negative people and don’t snooze when your alarm goes off in the morning. Get on up! You mentally start your mind on the right track when you do. Positive thoughts increase your immune system as proven by recent research. So whenever you see yourself having a negative thought, try to rephrase it to a positive thought. Make a plan for the next day so you have a reason to get on up.
Reward yourself in the morning for getting up with a special tea, coffee or breakfast treat for getting up. Chart your activities at the end of the day. Count your activities – one point for each activity. See how many points you can get each day. Chart to see your improvement. The only one you are competing with is yourself.

Activity is therapy!

Change of Habits

Whenever you have a negative thought see if you can think of solutions. Focusing on the seemingly impossible problems you have in your life will not help you solve them any quicker. It brings you down faster. Watch how quickly a child will try to find a possitive solution. Try to do the same.

Watch some cartoons or read a funny story. Always try to make time in your day to find a way to laugh. Make sure you get your belly to laugh every day.

Listen to music that relaxes you or uplifts you. Giving yourself energy through listening to music you like is an important part of developing your “happy habit”. Music is to the soul like a bandaid is to a cut.

Read or listen tobooks, anything else that inspires you. This will keep your thoughts positive and will help you stray into negativity.

Try to make other people happy. Volunteer to do something for someone else and see how you feel better. In doing something for someone else, you take you mind off your own problems. Doing at least one task each day for the express purpose of making someone else happy will help create and spread your “happy habit”.

Be happy for others in their happiness and don't envy their happiness. It's hard, sometimes to see other people feeling happy if you are not. Instead of feeling envious of them, just feel happy for them. It is great to surround yourself with lucky, fortunate people. Keep positive company around you. If you surround yourself with genuine people with positive attitudes and laughter, you will find that you will catch some of that energy. Joy is contagious, as is laughter.

Focus on your accomplishments and not the things you didn't accomplish, within reason. Focusing on goals you have met will help you develop plans to meet new goals.

Focusing on your goals can be complicated, but with a plan in place to visualize your goals and accomplish them properly, you might find that achieving goals can actually be fun. Of course, many people don't know how to make a plan to meet their goals and, instead, struggle with all of the negative feelings. Don't let negativity break you down. Instead, use your energy to find ways to step towards what you wish to have in life and make it happen.

Have a good day!

Look for the light!

Look for the light! When darkness sets in and you can't seem to find your way look for the light and keep your eye on it! The light will guide you safely thru as long as you keep focus.

There is nothing to gain about what we do not have. If we would have peace, then let us accept ourselves as we are with our own limitations and start from there. History shines with names of people who did this.

We cannot remake ourselves, but do the best we can with what we have. Accept ourselves.
Robert Louis Stevenson never had a well day in his life but he refused to bow down to low spirits and left a rich legacy of literature for future generations.

Helen Keller who was blind refused to face the shadows but instead chose to face the light so the shadows would fall behind her.

Sir Walter Scott was lame but it did not deter him. He accepted it gracefully and his biography reveals an enthusiastic, well-intergrated, radiant being.

There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. - Carl Jung

Life is just one damned thing after another. - Elbert Hubbard

Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep. - Fran Lebowitz

Life is something that everyone should try at least once. - Henry Tillman

Life is like playing a violin in public and learning the instrument as one goes on. - Sammel Butler

Life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all. - William Goldman

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon. - Woody Allen

Life is a zoo in a jungle. - Peter De Vries

Never - never - never give up! Never reduce yourself to a robot. Accept yourself and be on your way!

The fortunes of life are ever-changing so we are called upon to constantly change. Accept and adjust yourself to have peace in your life. Happy people are like that.

Life is still what you make it.

Be good to yourself and keep your eye on the light

You Are Not Alone

Brooke Shields, actress” It seemed to me that I already would never be again happy, as though I am failed in a large black hole”.

Gail Porter“It awfully, awfully, awfully. One and a half years passed, I knew before, that I had depression after births of child “.

Goddard Trish,” A danger threatened me, that I will be deprived children, when I may need conduct five weeks in a psychiatric clinic. There is such variety of depression - depression of smiling man. It is simple something frightful - this was just my case”.

Linda Hamilton, actress“Periods of depression were simply terrible. As though fall in a hatch and can not heave up a lid and get out”.

Melinda Messenger, model” I wanted itself to put to death. I cried constantly. I thought: “As would be healthy, if a motor-car failure happened and I was broken up to death”.

Melanie C, former soloist Spice Girls“I test fear constantly, that depression can return, but I try all doing is correct. I try to sleep enough, because I know that sleep is needed, that it is normal to function, and I must correctly feed and engaged in physical exercises”.

Sarah Lancashire, actress“From 20 to 30 I had the lost years. It is cruel illness, because you can not hide it in any way “.

Ruby Yоrкs,“Depressions are very cyclic, they are one time in five years. When I appeared on television, I was self merriment, it can not be imitated. Depression comes as a plague”.

Richard Dreyfuss, actor“I said a doctor: you will examine me, I not all right, I behave wrong”.

Sinead Okonnor, singerI have a manic-depressive psychosis. A basic symptom was constantly sounding in a head voice which talked, that I put to death itself”.

Jack Di, comic actor “Depression - it that always appeared in my life, but now I learned with it to be celebrated. It is sorry that it did not happen many years ago, because it indeed facilitated my existence”.

Kylie Minougue, singer“At first all be well, and then all of it is suddenly closed. It is sufficient reason for uncertainty and depression. I usually began to cry”.

Cathie Prays (Dzhordan), model“I was complete psychopath. I felt that there is something in me, that I am unable to control”.

Rassel Grant,“It is a labyrinth from chaos. Sometimes gets to the point where already however you, you living or died”.

Nil Lennon, footballer“Feel, as though go on a long dark corridor, and does not know when light will appear”.

Keysha Byukanan, singer“At depression it is possible to enter and go out from depression state, so that is incomprehensible, it passed already or not. Sometimes I began without cause to cry”.

Ben Mudi, musician“I was in terrible depression, I felt a complete unlucky person - as a leader of group, as professional, as man”.

Jim Kerri, actor“I long time sat on prozake. It, maybe, in certain moment showed me out of cork-screw, but some people accept it right through life”.

James Dynes of Bredfild, Manic Street Peachers“I grew into a quite despairing and aggressive man, I could not communicate with people. ”

You are not alone. Thousands of people share your feelings. We can unite to bring about a better tomorrow.

I have a dream that one day I won't hold my breath every time I tell a person that I suffer from depression, that I won't feel shameful in confessing my mental illness.

I have a dream that people won't feel the need to applaud me for my courage on writing and speaking publicly about my disease, because the diagnosis of depression would be understood no differently than that of diabetes, arthritis, or dementia.

I have a dream that the research into genetics of mood disorders will continue to pinpoint specific genes that may predispose individuals and families to depression (like the gene G72/G30, located on chromosome13q), just as specific genes associated with schizophrenia and obsessive-compulsive disorder have been located and identified.

I have a dream that brain-imaging technology will continue to advance in discovering what, exactly, is going on inside the brain, that a neurological perspective coupled with a biochemical approach to mental illness will develop targeted treatments: new medication and better response to particular medications--that we can cut out that painful trial-and-error process.

I have a dream depressives won't have to risk their jobs in divulging their condition, that employers will respond more empathetically to the country's more than 8.9 million working depressives, that the general public willbe more educated on mental illness so that it doesn't cost this country more than $44 billion each year (like it does now).

I have a dream that families, friends, and co-workers will show kindness to depressives, not reproach them for not being stronger, for not having enough will power and discipline and incentive to get well, for notsnapping out of it, for not being grateful enough, for not seeing the cup half full, for not controlling their emotions.I have a dream that tabloids and celebrities like Tom Cruise won't lump allegations of Britney Spears' taking antidepressants into the same category as her 24-hour marriage, all-night clubbing, and pantylessphotos--that our world might be more sophisticated and informed than that.

I have a dream that people will no longer use the following terms to describe persons with mental illness: fruity, loony, wacky, nutty, cuckoo, loopy, crazy, wacko, gonzo, nutso, batty, bonkers, ditzy,bananas, and crazy.

I have a dream that spiritual leaders might preach compassion to persons with mental illness, not indict them for not praying hard enough, or in the right way, or often enough, and that judgmental new-age thinkers who blame all illness on blocked energy (in chakras one through seven) might be enlightened to understand that although alternatives may help they do not cure.

I have a dream that health insurance companies will stop serving Satan, and read a medical report every now and then, where they would learn that depression is a legitimate, organic brain disease, and that thosewho suffer from it aren't a bunch of weak, pathetic people who can't cope with life's hard knocks.

I dream that one day depression won't destroy so many marriages and families, that better and faster treatment will work in favor of every form of intimacy.

I have a dream that suicide won't take more lives than traffic accidents, lung disease, or AIDS, that together we can do better to reduce the more than 30,000 suicides that happen annually in the United States, and that communities will lovingly embrace those friends and families of persons who ran out of hope, instead of simply ignoring the tragedy or attaching fault where none should be. That people will protest to stop suicide as more people die from suicide than any war.

I have a dream that one day depression, bipolar disorder, and all kinds of mental illness will lose their stigma, that I won't have to whisper the word "Zoloft" to the pharmacist, that people will be able to have loud conversations in coffee shops about how they treat their depression (in addition to the excellent dialogue we have here on Lighthouse of Halo).

Mostly, I dream about a day when I can wake up and think about coffee first thing in the morning, rather than my mood--is it a serene one, a panicked one, or somewhere in between?--and fretting about whether ornot I'm heading toward the black hole of despair or the shadow of death. I dream that I'll never ever have to go back to that harrowing and lonely place of years ago. That no one else should have to either. But if they do (or if I do), that they not give up hope. Because eventually their tomorrow will be better than their today. And they will be able to dream again too.

I dream of having a glowing vision of the future that helps you tackle the core beliefs about yourself -- such as doubts about your own worthiness for success -- that have held you back until now. So as you peel back the curtains around your core self, you become ready to tap the source of all change and success-self-love, and forgiveness for past failures. Together we can make that dream come true. I'm here for you and you are there for me. Together we help each other. Self-love doesn't happen by luck or the grace of God. You have to create it. These are among the most important elements of it.

* Honoring yourself and who you really are. Love is your birthright. As Teilhard de Chardin said, "We are not human beings having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings having a human experience."

* Telling the highest truth, which is that we are powerful beings capable of creating joy and success or pain and suffering in our lives. We are not destined to be victims. We have the power to choose, and thispower is both the greatest responsibility we have and the greatest opportunity.

* Honoring who you are becoming. Self-love involves recognizing that you are constantly evolving and growing to become a more powerful and more loving being.

* Honoring your feelings and responding to those feelings. Remember, feelings are important signals, and even the so-called negative feelings of anger and fear serve the important purpose of alerting us to theobstacles in our life.

* Recognizing that the universe is literally made of love. "If we will just open ourselves to receive, like flowers opening to the sun, then everything is possible," says Glenda Rice, hypnotherapist and life coach based in Houston, Texas.

When things go wrong or goals don't materialize, most people blame their past, their parents, life in general or God. We are even encouraged to do this by friends and family who are well-meaning. We also devote agreat deal of energy to settling for what is, without recognizing what we can become.

All the great wisdom traditions speak of the unlimited power we have within us. Both quantum physics and psychology offer proof that our thoughts create our reality. Yet, many people strenuously object to the truth that we create our own reality.

Some argue that it's not loving to tell a sick person they had anything to do with creating their illness. Yet, by not owning their power when they are sick, they are consigning themselves to a life of being a victim of any virus or circumstance that comes their way. This powerlessness is the source of most depression, and it leads to more illness and problems such as overeating. However by owning their power, they have the ability to overcome it. I have seen the black hole and I have come back to the light.

It is more honest and even more loving to gently help people recognize the power they have to create their reality, including failures. I have seen one that was in the fog for over 13 years accept the day she decided to be depressed and came back to the light. Once we do that, then we must forgive ourselves for the painful experiences we have previously chosen in our lives. "I don't know all the parts of me that are creating the failed relationships, but I am willing to learn about them."

Only by seeing how in the past we have allowed problems to control us, and forgiving ourselves, can we really change and be free to go forward in life feeling more powerful, able to create the success and happiness we want. We have the right to make the most of what we have. We can't always control what happens but we can control how we react to it.

Forgiveness is not only a form of self-love, it is completely an inside job. First you have to own your mistakes. Here is how.* Imagine a future where you totally love yourself and have totally owned your power.

* Reach for an understanding of why you would choose limitations in your life. We are often taught by family and life experiences that being weak, sick or helpless is the way to get attention or help. Look at your own and other peoples attempts to get acceptance, attention and love. Ask yourself, what was I taught about being lovable? About being powerful and responsible for my life?

* Then forgive yourself for having made mistakes. Imagine how your future self would forgive you for a mistake.

* Then you can consciously create better methods for getting the acceptance, attention, love and success that you want.

Together we can make a difference for guiding the process of forgiveness and empowerment to make our dreams come true.

Hugs in an attitude of gratitude,