Learn Baby Steps

Life is a series of learning baby steps along the way. It's not how fast we get there, it just that we make our destination. So slowing down and learning baby steps along the way is no problem. If we take learning the baby steps of whatever it is we are trying to accomplish, we will master it faster. Slow and easy builds confidence. Don't be surprised when something doesn't come naturally. Have courage until the flow becomes natural.

Understanding depression is no exception. Maybe your past is dotted with compulsive behaviors such as eating too much, too much anger, avoiding too much, drinking too much, spending too much, gambling too much, working too much, having sex too much or using drugs too much. To much of anything can cause us problems. Now is the time to learn those baby steps and build your confidence in balance and comfort. Taking time to learn baby steps in our new found behaviors will empower our success in reaching our balanced and abundant life and allow joy and happiness to flow through us.

Together we can make a difference by showing support to each other in truth. Never give up.

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master,
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

~ Rudyard Kipling

To Thine Ownself Be True

You can run, but you can't hide from yourself. Sometimes we learn as children not to be totally truthful. We think we are being good, but the truth is we are hurting ourselves. We are lying to ourselves and those around us when we don't face the truth.

It is important to know our true feelings in order to manage a happy life. You can't ignore our feelings or repress them. They are still there. It is best to express those feeling and emotions.

What are you feeling? Why do you feel that way? By expressing your feelings and emotions, you are understanding your depression. By listening, you understand anger, fear, anxiety, blues, joy, peace and laughter. When you try to repress them, they will simply return later in a more forceful manner which sometimes gives us a yo-yo effect on our life. Sound familiar?

Our minds get conflicted when we try to repress our feelings and emotions. Instead we need to learn to control our feelings and emotions. Our thoughts create our beliefs. Our beliefs create our actions about ourselves and those around us. Our actions create our environment. Our environment creates our communities. Our communities create our world. See how we effect everyone? Together we can make a difference in learning "to thine own self be true" with our feelings and emotions. Something can be done about it. We can empower our lives.

Are you true to yourself? Or are you sending mixed messages to yourself and those around you?

The Art of Forgiveness

Some years ago during a visit to Yellowstone Park with my Pomeranians, I observed that the only animal that the grizzly bear would share his food with was a skunk.

It wasn't that the grizzly wanted to share his food but rather that he chose to. With his powerful paw he could have crushed the skunk with one swing. However the bear knew the high cost to getting even. Clever bear! Undoubtedly he learned the hard way.

Strange that we humans often aren't as smart as the the average bear. We carry grudges for years, sometimes repressing them from conscious memory; not knowing why we feel resentment, and end up hurting ourselves more than the ones that caused the pain. We fail to see how damaging an unforgiveness is. What happens in those times when you get the feeling it’s time to move on? What happens when you continually come up against roadblocks that you can’t seem to overcome? What happens when all your unrewarded efforts just seem to depress you?

Doctors and counselors alike attest to the damage done by failing to forgive. Some medical doctors estimate that the majority of illnesses they treat are related to emotional problems such as resentment which is a lack of forgiveness. One doctor wrote in his book, "None of These Diseases", that a forgiving spirit could save us from ulcerated colitis, toxic goiters, high blood pressure, and scores of other diseases including ulcers, asthma, arthritis, neurodermatitis, and heart ailments. All because of resentment. Counselors and psychiatrists see the roots of bitterness reflected in depression, anxiety, fear, anger, suicides worry, feelings of sabotage, and dysfunctional and broken relationships.

During med school, I read one report of an astonished patient who was told by his doctor: "If you don't cut out your resentments, I may have to cut out a part of your intestinal tract."

Fortunately, the man took the doctor's advice. He had been nursing a bitter grudge against a former business partner. He went to see this man, resolved their differences, and forgave him. When he returned to the doctor, his physical condition had cleared up. I've also seen many that could not learn to forgive. How many years did they live imprisoned by the past? How many died in that torment?

Not to forgive is to be imprisoned by the past.

Many times you will hear that only those who are persistent in life, love and career win the prizes. There is that famous quote from Calvin Coolidge hanging over our heads that ‘persistence and determination alone are omnipotent’. Over and over we are told that if we quit or change course midway through an endeavor, then we are weak or not made of the right mettle. But is this necessarily always true?

I’d like to share some simple ideas on how to decide when it is wise to walk away and change your course. These ideas might help you in your career, business, and relationships - life.

History is full of people, who quit one path, only to succeed greatly at something else. Ross Perot quit IBM to eventually become a self-made billionaire, Robbie Williams quit his boy-band tenure to become the highest paid solo pop artist of his generation; Diana, Princess of Wales ‘quit’ the Royal family, only to become more famous and respected for her humanitarian work. I could tell you numerous others that you wouldn't recognize their names like my Dad who change his course that lead to a better future.

Sometimes you reach a crossroads on a certain path in your life and it is time to reexamine to continue in the same way or to change directions. Sometimes the changes can be slight, sometimes they can be drastic. Sometime you can feel guilty, or grief at the possibility of walking away from something that has been important to you. Sometimes friends and family cause you grief over the changes. Only you can decide what those changes need to be.

Here are some simple guidelines that can help you make the right choice:

1) Ask yourself why you started what you’re doing? Think back to the beginning point of your current situation. If it’s a relationship, what drew you into it in the first place? Is that still important to you? If it’s a career or project or business, what made you decide to get involved? Get these answers clear first so you can see your starting point and how far you have come.

2) Discover if you have any challenge or interest left. Is there anything you feel is incomplete or unfinished in your current position? Anything you want to accomplish, learn, do or say to someone? If so, do it NOW so that you can move on without regret or need to back-peddle. This will free you to focus on your new future.

3) As you probably know, you are not alone. Others are in or have been in the same boat as you are in now. Look at those people who are a few years ahead in the same position and ask yourself whether you want to be where they are. This is a great eye opener. Look at your current situation and find someone a few years ahead of you who elected to stay in the same position you are in now. Consider whether you would like to be in a similar situation in a few years. If the answer is no, it’s probably time to move on.

4) Don't feel guilty. Often when we are familiar with something or someone for a long time, we simply feel a sense of guilt that holds us back. This can happen in relationships, careers, sports, business, etc.

A key to confidence in your life is to be certain in your mind that is totally okay to change your mind and stop banging your head against a wall that you no longer enjoy. Have courage that your life is yours first and you will find people around you will respect your decisions more than when you wishy washy. People around you, when you act wishy washy, think they are trying to help you by bring up all the possibilities and reasons you should stay the course.

5) Once you've made your decision, move quickly in your new life. Make sure your new focus holds your interest and gives you a sense of challenge, as this helps to emotionally lay the old activities to rest.

6) Make a class act decision. Changing course is rarely a pleasant experience. No one said life would be easy, just know that your decision is worth it. Often an unpleasant situation precedes the act of quitting. There can be emotions that are expressed, or things left undone in the process of walking away.

Wherever possible, move on without burning bridges by offending people. Doing this will save you much regret later on, and may just come in handy down the track, as you never know when people from the past will offer you a new opportunity in the future.

If you don't forgive the right way, resentment will poke its ugly head out at the most unexpected times similar to a couple gets into an argument and start dragging up events from the past. True forgiveness needs to be with our heart and soul. Obviously those things haven't been forgiven. Forgiveness may not forget the past but it can let bygones be bygones. It doesn't have to affect our present or our future.

Forgiveness can be very difficult if we have been hurt deeply but how do we forgive someone when that person doesn't even know or feel any wrong doing?

When a person recognizes his wrongdoing, that certainly makes forgiveness easier.

Sometimes he doesn't, which is usually the case. Forgiveness becomes a choice. We can choose to forgive or not to forgive. The choice is your? No one can make you forgive. You're the one that has to know it is right for you.

We need to realize is that forgiveness is essential perhaps more for our hurts and feelings because of resentment than it is for the one who has wronged us. Lack of forgiveness is caused by a mixture of hurt and anger. Therefore, to truly forgive, one needs to face and deal with their own hurt and anger. Even forgiveness of self. Remember we are victors not victims.

Therefore to resolve that resentment, we need to be totally honest and admit exactly how we feel. We need to get these feelings off our chest - not by lashing out and hurting the other person, but in love, visualizing or by writing out our feelings until they are completely dissipated. To forgive is not to ignore justice. Pope John Paul forgave his would-be-assassin, but the man stayed in prison, and rightly so. And where we want others to forgive us, we will want to do everything in our power to make a just restitution.

The important thing is that we respond to forgiveness by acknowledging wrongdoing and accepting free pardon. Let us freely forgive one another as we forgive ourselves.

Forgiveness frees and heals the forgiver. The mind healing has begun. Have you been freed?

A Perfect World Doesn't Exist

Human beings are prone to blow it. A perfect world doesn't exist. I hate to break it to you nobody is perfect. So quit trying to act perfect. Don't expect perfection from anyone else. Fact of life. It is part of the Strings of Life. Computers aren't either. What is put into us is bound to come out of us. No matter how hard we try, garbage in is garbage out. If you surround yourself with negativity, anger and fear, then you will expel negative thoughts and depression. Surround yourself with positive people, positive music and positive books and movies and you will find little by little you will create positive possibilities and happiness. Empower yourself with inspiration and joy. Begin the mind healing.

Don't try to give your children, your spouse, your friends and co-workers the impression that you are perfect. Learn to be real and truthful. Seek forgiveness when you have erred. Forgive others for their shortcomings. Together we can make a difference! Live joy!

Are You Prepared?

Were you ever a boyscout or girl scout? What kind of general would send his soldiers into battle with no weapons, no strategy and no information about the enemy operations? He would either be cruel or stupid. Our motto is "Be Prepared."

Your Creator is your Commander in Chief and wants you to be prepared. Life on planet Earth is quite literally a daily battle. Depression attacks daily. It is a battle between good and evil, right and wrong, truth and lies. You will need to arm yourself to stand against the enemy.

Read and listen to positive possibilities and stories. Listen to and seek the truth. Live right. Turn negative thoughts into positive thoughts and actions. One step at a time. Meditate on happiness, peace and truth. Empower yourself with joy, inspiration and laughter. Be prepared for daily battles of anger, anxiety, panic attacks, depression and defeat. Never give up! Never, never, never give up!

Hold That Thought

One of the first things you teach your young children is how to cross the street safely. "Look both ways for traffic and hold tight to my hand," you say.

The traffic that threatens the safety of young people today includes some very deadly realities: violence, drugs, depression, teen suicides, teen pregnancies, and religious cults.

How can your children cross the street of life safely? How can you cross the street of life safely? You need to know about the potential dangers. No need to get hysterical and overstate the case. Just calmly make the statements. Be sensible. Hold the thought of happiness within you. Know that rushing out into the traffic of life leads to death, but holding on to truth and happiness leads to life and joy.

Can you relate to that? Every day take 30 minutes to dwell on happiness thoughts. Empower yourself with those thoughts.

Hold that thought!

Creating Happiness

How important is teaching children to obey? Children gain a sense of security from knowing where their boundaries are. Teaching obedience is lovingly creating boundaries. When you teach your children to obey, you are leading them into a greater sense of security.

It is the same with adults. As an adult, sometimes we have gone beyond our boundaries. When we have stretched our boundaries beyond the limits, depression creeps in. Depression steals our joy. Depression causes us to be lonely, cast off, tired, angry, anxiety-ridden, and feel sabotaged.

You have a choice. You have the power to chose to resist your teachings and feelings. If you were taught with loving care, the confidence will return when you empower yourself with the knowledge that you know to be the truth and live within those boundaries. You have a choice to accept happiness or depression. The confidence you have will far outweigh the temporary resistance. Stick with a loving plan to discipline yourself. As you stick with your plan, confidence will strengthen. Create happiness thoughts and let joy flow through you.

When you feel worn down and tired of the inevitable struggle that comes with depression, know that you are worth the effort. Know that your efforts are worth it.

Keep Your Mind On Good Thoughts

There are hundreds of books, magazines article and seminars designed to help you live your life in a positive state of mind. Although some of them are written or presented by someone claiming to be a good person. Be careful of what you do read.

You were created by your Creator and know the truth. The truth is free. Those that are wolves in sheep clothing are those that are trying to pull the wool over your eyes. You have two eyes and can read. You know in your heart if something is the truth. Listen to your heart. If you read or hear someone say something that you do not feel good about; question it. Seek the truth in all things. Seek the truth not just because you want it to be a certain way but because it is the truth. When you read and hear positive possibilities, your mind will begin to seek positive when negative is thrown in your way.

Don't attempt the latest fad or just because your friends are on the trend. Look for guidance through the maze of self-help literature that is out there. Your Creator will guide you when you ask for the Creator's help. Your subconscious knows the truth and will seek the truth. Seek affirmations that are good for you and you will find peace and tranquility. Empower yourself with things that are true and inspire.