A Strum of the Heartstrings

Bam! The door slammed as Janice stormed out of Darrell's office. Darrell had shot down the proposal, just as Janice had feared. Just like every time before. "Why is he so obsessed with control?" Janice seethed in resentment. "How many times am I going to have to fight this battle?"

Feelings can be powerful disablers when our wishes aren't being realized. Like in this story there was a history that poisoned Janice's unconscious beliefs about her chance to bring about her desires. Until she could become aware that she unintentionally self-sabotaged, she was confused and disappointed by her results and left feeling powerless and angry. Feelings are influenced by our expectations, which are based on our beliefs. If we are experiencing what we want, then we feel happy and life is good. If we are experiencing something that we do NOT want, then we feel that life is dealing us lemons.

What if feelings are directives - self-generated decisions, based upon beliefs that cause what we experience? Like many fundamental truths of life, we often have the cause-effect relationship backwards. We sometimes feel that if we work harder, we'll get a raise; if I love you, you will love me; I would be happy if I had a new ... Sound familiar.

It's easy to understand the fallacy of the first example. To get a raise, you generally need to work harder FIRST. Working is the cause - a raise is the effect. Raises don't cause work. When did you last see someone work harder after getting a raise - beyond a day or two? You may not always get a raise by working harder, but it's highly unlikely you'll get one any other way.

The second example: I'll love you back if you love me first, turns love into a bartering tool. We're afraid of being vulnerable, so we insist that the other person step out on the limb first. Is that really love? Love isn't something we get from another, it's a personal choice to become loving. It's a way of being first, then it's a gift you share. The one who insists that their partner love first is dealing in fear, not love. And even if the partner does express love first, it's unlikely that that love will be felt by the other. Love is born internally (cause) or it's never experienced (effect).

The last example may be the hardest to challenge. I'll be happy when I get what I want. We are surrounded every day by the message that our happiness depends on external circumstances. If we don't have the car we want, the house we want, the clothes we want, the job we want, etc. - if we feel we are lacking whatever we believe causes happiness, we feel unhappy.

Because our life did not meet our wants or expectations, we chose to feel badly. Our feelings are a result of what we tell ourselves it means. Some hide or run away from those feelings, while others take action and change things. In both cases the is reactionary - giving power to the circumstance without understanding that the circumstance is an effect, not a cause. The cause was the combination of expectations, personally-determined meanings, and erroneous beliefs that our quality of life is determined by our circumstances.

If you take power over those feelings and direct your result it is like an artist or writer. You are the artist, life is the canvas. You have the power of the pen to transform your life. Life is your agent fulfilling your commands. Through the thoughts and feelings you choose, you direct life to become. To be what you want. No longer a puppet controlled by someone or at the hands of thoses who would defeat you. You will often feel amazed and manipulated by what you learn. Believe me when I say, you ignited the effect by changing. You have the power to change.

Dream the live you were meant to dream!